IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

#city #life #countryside
Some
people
 argue that a
city
 provides greater advantages compared to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside. I completely agree with
this
 viewpoint because a
city
 offers advancements in all
services
 it provides, and it has better
security
 than
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside. A
city
 provides greater advancements in all
services
 it offers. A
city
 offers
services
 in all aspects of
life
such
 as education, employment, entertainment, and healthcare.
People
 can enjoy a variety of
services
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
city
life
, which make their lives easy and comfortable.
This
 is the only reason for
people
 moving to the
cities
 from
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
.
For instance
, in a
city
 there are better education opportunities,
therefore
, many
people
 migrate to
cities
 in search of a better school for their children.
Moreover
, a
city
 offers
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 and
developed
Correct quantifier usage
more developed
show examples
security
system
 than
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside.
Life
 is more
secured
Wrong verb form
secure
show examples
 here because of the improved
security
system
. Protective Service is more active in a
city
 to provide
city
people
better
Change preposition
with better
show examples
 service.
Therefore
, many
people
 can work at night in
cities
.
Moreover
,
communication
Add an article
the communication
a communication
show examples
system
 is more advanced in a
city
. It allows
people
 to move from one place to another.
For instance
,
people
 easily move from one place to another through public transport in a
city
 because they are quite frequent. In conclusion, a
city
 provides better facilities in all aspects of
life
.
Security
 and communication
system
 is more improved here.
Therefore
,
people
 love to move from
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 to
cities
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Consider including more detailed examples to support your main points. This will help strengthen your argument and provide a clearer picture to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical flow between your sentences and paragraphs. This can be achieved by ensuring each point links clearly to the next, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively set the context and summarize the argument.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the task by presenting a clear viewpoint and supporting it with reasons.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
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