IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many believe that living in a city offers greater benefits compared to life in the countryside. To what extent do you agree or disagree? (Write 250 words.)

#city #life #countryside
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Some
people
Use synonyms
 argue that a
city
Use synonyms
 provides greater advantages compared to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 viewpoint because a
city
Use synonyms
 offers advancements in all
services
Use synonyms
 it provides, and it has better
security
Use synonyms
 than
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside. A
city
Use synonyms
 provides greater advancements in all
services
Use synonyms
 it offers. A
city
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 offers
services
Use synonyms
 in all aspects of
life
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such
Linking Words
 as education, employment, entertainment, and healthcare.
People
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 can enjoy a variety of
services
Use synonyms
 in
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
city
Use synonyms
life
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, which make their lives easy and comfortable.
This
Linking Words
 is the only reason for
people
Use synonyms
 moving to the
cities
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 from
Correct article usage
the countrysides
show examples
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, in a
city
Use synonyms
 there are better education opportunities,
therefore
Linking Words
, many
people
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 migrate to
cities
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 in search of a better school for their children.
Moreover
Linking Words
, a
city
Use synonyms
 offers
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 and
developed
Correct quantifier usage
more developed
show examples
security
Use synonyms
system
Use synonyms
 than
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 countryside.
Life
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 is more
secured
Wrong verb form
secure
show examples
 here because of the improved
security
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system
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. Protective Service is more active in a
city
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 to provide
city
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people
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better
Change preposition
with better
show examples
 service.
Therefore
Linking Words
, many
people
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 can work at night in
cities
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.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
communication
Add an article
the communication
a communication
show examples
system
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 is more advanced in a
city
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. It allows
people
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 to move from one place to another.
For instance
Linking Words
,
people
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 easily move from one place to another through public transport in a
city
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 because they are quite frequent. In conclusion, a
city
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 provides better facilities in all aspects of
life
Use synonyms
.
Security
Use synonyms
 and communication
system
Use synonyms
 is more improved here.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 love to move from
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 to
cities
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Consider including more detailed examples to support your main points. This will help strengthen your argument and provide a clearer picture to the reader.
coherence cohesion
Work on refining the logical flow between your sentences and paragraphs. This can be achieved by ensuring each point links clearly to the next, enhancing the overall coherence of the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively set the context and summarize the argument.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed the task by presenting a clear viewpoint and supporting it with reasons.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • metropolitan
  • infrastructure
  • cosmopolitan
  • commute
  • sociocultural
  • prosperity
  • sustainability
  • rural
  • tranquility
  • urbanization
  • relocation
  • residential
  • populace
  • ecological footprint
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