IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

dicuss about using social media is it advantages or disadvantages

#dicuss #media
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
in
Change preposition
With
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
digitalization, social networking sites have become more and more common.
This
 essay will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
its pros and cons.
To begin
 with, social
media
 allows us to obtain
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
knowledge
Change preposition
of knowledge
show examples
such
 as news,daily status…even looking for any topics that we are interested in.
Additionally
,It
also
 supplies
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 enormous source based on available data from artificial intelligence, so users are not worried about lacking of objects that they want.
This
 platform is a wonderful tool to connect with the acquainted without moving
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
 long distances.
Moreover
,A special function of social
media
 is
commercing
Replace the word
commercialising
show examples
 online.
Therefore
,
business
Add an article
the business
a business
show examples
 company can launch their
merchandises
Fix the agreement mistake
merchandise
show examples
 to
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
.
According to
apparent vision
Correct your spelling
Apparent Vision
show examples
, Alibaba, created in
china
Capitalize word
China
show examples
 by Jack Ma, is
famous
Correct article usage
a famous
show examples
 trade
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
worldwide.Not only is it famous but
also
 it is affordable for individuals.
On the other hand
, As can be seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
social
media
bring
Correct subject-verb agreement
brings
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
many benefits,
it
Correct word choice
but it
show examples
also
 has some limits
such
 as leaking information,causing some society tissues,losing private documentaries,
affecting
Correct word choice
and affecting
show examples
 on utilizer’s life so much.Turning to
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
 point, participants who like using these online platforms can
be changed
Wrong verb form
change
show examples
 their mindset,
Correct word choice
and impacted
show examples
impacted
Change the form of the verb
impact
show examples
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
mental health in the light of sensitive
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 like cyber-bullying,
cursing
Correct word choice
and cursing
show examples
 with strangers
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
 In conclusion, social
media
 is a key to
help
Wrong verb form
helping
show examples
 people address their problems but some
disadvantage
Replace the word
disadvantageous
show examples
 cases
also
 come from social
media
.
Submitted by nacute2606 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay should aim to provide a more balanced view on both the advantages and disadvantages, and develop each point more fully.
task achievement
Work on providing specific examples to strengthen your arguments, especially for the disadvantage side.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay includes a clear, logical structure that smoothly guides the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Strengthen the introduction and conclusion by ensuring they provide clear context and summary respectively.
task achievement
The essay effectively introduces the topic of social media with a clear statement of intent.
task achievement
There is a variety of advantages and disadvantages mentioned which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Some sentences effectively convey complex ideas related to online commerce and social connectivity.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: