IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

you have seen an advertisement in an Australian magazine for someone to live with a family for six months and look after their six-year-old child. Write a letter to the parents. In your letter. - explain why you would like the job - give details of why you would be a suitable person to employ - say how you would spend your free time while you are in Australia

#advertisement #australian #magazine #someone #six #months #child #parents #job #person #time #australia
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Dear Collins, I have read your advertisement in Australia magazine and I am interested
about look
Change preposition
in looking
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 after your child. My name is Anna, I am 22
years
 old. I study
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at an
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an
Change the article
a
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 university in Poland. I am
intersted
Correct your spelling
interested
to visit
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in visiting
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 Australia. I love little
children
, I have younger siblings and I had to take care of them whole my childhood. I study
an
Correct your spelling
at
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 university, specification as a teacher in the
kindergarden
Correct your spelling
kindergarten
 and OSH. I have a lot of
experiences
Fix the agreement mistake
experience
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 from the summer camps where I was
as
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apply
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the
teamleader
Correct your spelling
team leader
 of the
children
 (the group
age
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aged
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of
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apply
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5-8). I
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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started
this
 job since my 16
years
 old. I have received the certificate
take
Fix the infinitive
to take
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 care of the
children
 and the first avoid. I worked as
Correct article usage
a babysisster
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babysisster
Correct your spelling
babysitter
the
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for the
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last
 5
years
 with
the
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apply
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children
age
Replace the word
aged
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of
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apply
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3-8
years
 old. I have certificate C1
from
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in
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 English, German and Spain, I could
learn
Verb problem
teach
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 your child these languages if you want. I would like to spend my free time
with
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apply
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traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
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, meeting
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new people, discovering
the
Correct article usage
apply
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new cultures and proofing my English. If my email is
interested
Wrong verb form
interesting
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 for you, please let me know, I will be happy to meet you and your child. Kind regards Andrea Kroupa
Submitted by andrea.kroupova on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow by organizing the ideas more logically.
coherence cohesion
Improve grammatical accuracy.
task achievement
Relevant points are addressed adequately to the task.
coherence cohesion
Each paragraph generally focuses on a single idea, maintaining clarity.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Childcare, Nurturing, Patience, Creativity, Early childhood development
  • Babysitting, Au pair, Engaging, Responsible, Enthusiastic
  • Safety, Trustworthy, Adaptability, Proactive, Cultural exchange
  • Activities, Educational games, Language skills, Exploring
  • Volunteering, Community involvement, Australian culture
  • Flexibility, Personal traits, Schedule, Enrichment
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