IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use.
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There are two charts. The first chart gives information about how an average Australian household uses
energy
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 the second shows the percentage of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
 emissions resulting from
energy
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
. Other appliances
use
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 the most
energy
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, 24
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 cooking and standby
use
Use synonyms
 the least and only 5
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
. Heating and cooking produce the most percentage of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 standby produces the least percentage of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
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. Even though other appliances
use
Use synonyms
 the most
energy
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, it does not produce the most
greenhouse
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gas
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. Heating and cooling only
use
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 20
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the
energy
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 but produce 38
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percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
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, which is the most produced. The other example that produces
greenhouse
Use synonyms
gas
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 more than household
energy
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 is water heating. So,
to conclude
Linking Words
, households that
use
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 a lot of
energy
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 will produce more
greenhouse
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gas
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.
While
Linking Words
 the low uses of
energy
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 produce less
greenhouse
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 gases than their
energy
Use synonyms
 uses.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 78%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, greenhouse, gas, use, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Energy consumption
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Sustainable practices
  • Energy efficiency
  • Renewable energy
  • Fossil fuels
  • Carbon footprint
  • Eco-friendly appliances
  • Insulation
  • Solar panels
  • Recycling
  • Climate change
  • Kilowatt-hour (kWh)
  • Emissions-intensive
  • Energy audit
  • Smart meters
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