IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?

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Some states have introduced restrictions limiting working
hours
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 for
employees
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. I am of the opinion that in order to reduce
health
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problems
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 and to increase the efficiency of work countries have submitted these
laws
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 of restriction. Surely,
this
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 is a positive development.
Firstly
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, in order to
decrese
Correct your spelling
decrease
 the number of
health
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 and mental issues and to increase the quality of work, countries have introduced some sort of
laws
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 that
limits
Correct subject-verb agreement
limit
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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working
hours
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.
Employees
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ussually
Correct your spelling
usually
 want to remain at work for additional
hours
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, because in some countries the competition for working places is at a very high level
due to
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enormous
Change the article
an enormous
the enormous
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 number of qualified workers.
For instance
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, Japan had
problems
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 with over-working because of big competition.
Thus
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, the number of
people
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 having
health
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 issues and even dying
on
Change preposition
in
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 their
working places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
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have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 grown significantly.
Therefore
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, Japan in order to
plunge
Verb problem
reduce
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 the
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
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 of
people
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 suffering from that, have introduced restrictions
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 working
hours
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.
Secondly
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, in my
opinion
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opinion,
show examples
submiting
Correct your spelling
submitting
laws
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for limiting
Change preposition
to limit
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
working
hours
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 is a positive development with a lot of benefits. Undoubtedly, following the
Japan
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Japanese
show examples
 example of restricting the
employees
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 in working
hours
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 grew the
overall
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 happiness of
people
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.
Consequently
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,
health
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problems
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 and
also
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 mental
problems
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 declined.
Similarly
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, the
productiveness
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productivity
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 of
people
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 soared, because they
have
Wrong verb form
had
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 time to relax.
To conclude
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, the
laws
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 for limiting the working time of
employees
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 are introduced for having diverse advantages for the workers
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for
Add the comma(s)
, for
show examples
 instance, to reduce
health
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 issues or to grow the productivity.
Hence
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, without any
doubt
Add a comma
doubt,
show examples
this
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 is a positive development.

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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that all the ideas presented are fully expanded with ample detail and avoid repetition like the repeated idea of health issues, which was addressed in both paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better guide the reader through your argument. This will help to improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the fluency and precision of your language. This can help in conveying your ideas more clearly and effectively.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task, addressing both why the laws were introduced and your opinion on them.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The use of a specific example, such as the situation in Japan, effectively supports your main points and adds depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • 1. Burnout
  • 2. Work-life balance
  • 3. Productivity
  • 4. Diminishing returns
  • 5. Ethical responsibility
  • 6. Exploitation
  • 7. Fair labor practices
  • 8. Chronic illnesses
  • 9. Job creation
  • 10. Unemployment rates
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