Some countries have introduced laws to limit working hours for employees. Why are these laws introduced? Do you think they are a positive or negative development?
Some states have introduced restrictions limiting working
hours
for employees
. I am of the opinion that in order to reduce health
problems
and to increase the efficiency of work countries have submitted these laws
of restriction. Surely, this
is a positive development.
Firstly
, in order to decrese
the number of Correct your spelling
decrease
health
and mental issues and to increase the quality of work, countries have introduced some sort of laws
that limits
Correct subject-verb agreement
limit
the
working Correct article usage
apply
hours
. Employees
ussually
want to remain at work for additional Correct your spelling
usually
hours
, because in some countries the competition for working places is at a very high level due to
enormous
number of qualified workers. Change the article
an enormous
the enormous
For instance
, Japan had problems
with over-working because of big competition. Thus
, the number of people
having health
issues and even dying on
their Change preposition
in
working places
Correct your spelling
workplaces
have
grown significantly. Correct subject-verb agreement
has
Therefore
, Japan in order to plunge
the Verb problem
reduce
numbers
of Fix the agreement mistake
number
people
suffering from that, have introduced restrictions for
working Change preposition
on
hours
.
Secondly
, in my opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
submiting
Correct your spelling
submitting
laws
for limiting
Change preposition
to limit
the
working Correct article usage
apply
hours
is a positive development with a lot of benefits. Undoubtedly, following the Japan
example of restricting the Replace the word
Japanese
employees
in working hours
grew the overall
happiness of people
. Consequently
, health
problems
and also
mental problems
declined. Similarly
, the productiveness
of Replace the word
productivity
people
soared, because they have
time to relax.
Wrong verb form
had
To conclude
, the laws
for limiting the working time of employees
are introduced for having diverse advantages for the workers for
instance, to reduce Add the comma(s)
, for
health
issues or to grow the productivity. Hence
, without any doubt
Add a comma
doubt,
this
is a positive development.Submitted by acaitaz on
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task achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that all the ideas presented are fully expanded with ample detail and avoid repetition like the repeated idea of health issues, which was addressed in both paragraphs.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to better guide the reader through your argument. This will help to improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Use varied vocabulary and complex sentence structures to improve the fluency and precision of your language. This can help in conveying your ideas more clearly and effectively.
task achievement
You provided a complete response to the task, addressing both why the laws were introduced and your opinion on them.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.
task achievement
The use of a specific example, such as the situation in Japan, effectively supports your main points and adds depth to your argument.