The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012.
The following bar and line chart shows information about average monthly temperatures and
swim suit
Correct your spelling
swimsuit
sales
in New York, broken down into the first six months
of 2012, indicated as Farenheit
and Hundred Correct your spelling
Fahrenheit
thousands
US Fix the agreement mistake
thousand
dollar
, respectively.
Fix the agreement mistake
dollars
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that the
April received the highest revenues, Correct article usage
apply
whereas
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
of in
Change preposition
apply
June
was gain
the fewest sum. Wrong verb form
gained
However
, it is interesting to note that New Yorkers prepare themselves with bathing suits prior to the peak temperature in June
.
To begin
with, a closer look at the bar chart shows that the sales
constantly increased during the first three months
before skyrocketed
Wrong verb form
skyrocketing
its
peak in April and Correct pronoun usage
apply
plummeted
in the remaining Wrong verb form
plummeting
months
. At roughly $280, April had the largest sum of profits among all other months
, followed by March at $150, February at $125, and January, respectively. Surprisingly, it is noticeable that sales
Correct article usage
the sales
figure
in May fell dramatically Fix the agreement mistake
figures
at
under $100, at about $80, Change preposition
to
while
in June
made the fewest sales
at approximately $20.
With regards to the relationship with temperatures in New York City, starting off the first month of the year with slightly above 30 Farenheit
. February experienced Correct your spelling
Fahrenheit
small
Correct article usage
a small
dropped
to 30 Replace the word
drop
Farenheit
and rose at a constant rate of 9 Correct your spelling
Fahrenheit
farenheit
monthly and ending with Correct your spelling
fahrenheit
at
65 Change preposition
apply
Farenheit
Correct your spelling
Fahrenheit
June
.Change preposition
in June
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, months, farenheit, june with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼