The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012.

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012.
The following bar and line chart shows information about average monthly temperatures and
swim suit
Correct your spelling
swimsuit
show examples
sales
in New York, broken down into the first six
months
of 2012, indicated as
Farenheit
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Fahrenheit
and Hundred
thousands
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thousand
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US
dollar
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dollars
show examples
, respectively.
Overall
, it can be clearly observed that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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April received the highest revenues,
whereas
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
of in
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apply
show examples
June
was gain
Wrong verb form
gained
show examples
the fewest sum.
However
, it is interesting to note that New Yorkers prepare themselves with bathing suits prior to the peak temperature in
June
.
To begin
with, a closer look at the bar chart shows that the
sales
constantly increased during the first three
months
before
skyrocketed
Wrong verb form
skyrocketing
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
peak in April and
plummeted
Wrong verb form
plummeting
show examples
in the remaining
months
. At roughly $280, April had the largest sum of profits among all other
months
, followed by March at $150, February at $125, and January, respectively. Surprisingly, it is noticeable that
sales
Correct article usage
the sales
show examples
figure
Fix the agreement mistake
figures
show examples
in May fell dramatically
at
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to
show examples
under $100, at about $80,
while
in
June
made the fewest
sales
at approximately $20. With regards to the relationship with temperatures in New York City, starting off the first month of the year with slightly above 30
Farenheit
Correct your spelling
Fahrenheit
. February experienced
small
Correct article usage
a small
show examples
dropped
Replace the word
drop
show examples
to 30
Farenheit
Correct your spelling
Fahrenheit
and rose at a constant rate of 9
farenheit
Correct your spelling
fahrenheit
monthly and ending with
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
65
Farenheit
Correct your spelling
Fahrenheit
June
Change preposition
in June
show examples
.
Submitted by kamonluck1999 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 85%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, months, farenheit, june with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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