IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Cramming and immersion are becomingly increasingly recognised methods of gaining knowledge in an area, other people disagree and say that only through lifelong learning can a subject be learnt. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Use specific reasons and examples to support your position.

#immersion #methods #area #people #learnt #support #position
The bar chart provides key information about various ways of transport used to travel from work in one European city in three years in 1960,1980 and 2000. The units are measured in percentages.
Overall
, it is clear from the graph
in
Correct pronoun usage
that in
show examples
 1960, the bus was the heights number of people
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
using the bus to reach their destination.
In addition
, the car had a considerable rate in 2000 roughly 38%,
whereas
 in 1960, the car was the lowest proportion
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 8%.
According to
 what is shown, the
tupe
Correct your spelling
tube
 had
a smilier rates
Correct the article-noun agreement
a smilier rate
smilier rates
show examples
 in all years,
however
 in 1960 was a higher rate
by
Change preposition
of
show examples
 28% ,in 2000 around 25% and in 1980, the tiniest portion approximately 21%. For the bus, the rates
were fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
have fluctuated
show examples
between
Change preposition
for
show examples
 three years. In terms of
train
Fix the agreement mistake
trains
show examples
, in 1980, it was the highest
per cent
Correct your spelling
percentage
show examples
by
Change preposition
at
show examples
 28%.
Moreover
, in 2000 and 1960 the
used
Replace the word
use
show examples
 of the train were the equivalent percentages by 20%.
Submitted by raghadyaseer2015 on

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task achievement
Ensure data accuracy when describing and comparing figures from the bar chart to avoid misunderstanding.
coherence cohesion
Improve the logical flow between sentences and ideas to enhance overall coherence.
coherence cohesion
Use varied vocabulary and sentence structures to effectively convey comparisons and contrasts between different transportation methods across the years.
task achievement
The essay provides a general overview and attempts to summarize the main trends in the data given.
task achievement
Various rates from the chart were discussed, bringing attention to the changes over the years.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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