some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or negative development ?
Should children spend hours every day on their smartphones? We are now entering the age of technology and most parents are allowing their children to have their own personal smartphone for daily use.
However
Add a comma
However,
this
can create some issues and there are positivies
and negatives to Correct your spelling
positives
this
.
One of the many advantages of having a phone is instant communication, for example
when your child is at school while
you're busy doing work in the office, you can always call or text anytime. Technology makes it easier for us to communicate to
other people Change preposition
with
eventhough
we're not in the same place. Correct your spelling
even though
Moreover
another positive impact Add a comma
Moreover,
to
Change preposition
of
this
is that it builds creativity for your child. Additionally
, these days accessing information is quicker and learning new things only takes a few minutes.
However
, kids spending hours on their ipads
or tablets can risk their brain health and Correct your spelling
iPads
developments
on their body. Fix the agreement mistake
development
This
can be unhealthy in the long run. Too much of
screen time can affect their eyesight in the near future, especially if they don't have breaks in between. Some parents don't supervise their kids and what they see online. Change preposition
apply
Although
there are age restrictions, the internet might still be a dangerous place for younger audiences. Furthermore
, ipads
, laptops and Change the capitalization
Ipads
such
create addictive behaviours not only to
toddlers but Change preposition
for
also
for adults.
To conclude
, I believe that children should not always be on their gadgets. Technology has become more convinient
but there are many disadvantages to Correct your spelling
convenient
this
. I think, instead
of playing games on their gadgets, they can play outside with friends or family, and interact with nature.Submitted by lydiaia on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider organizing your essay into clear sections with distinct headings or paragraphs that focus on specific aspects of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points you intend to discuss in the essay, thus providing a roadmap for the reader.
supported main points
To strengthen your argument, provide more specific examples or evidence supporting your points about the positive and negative impacts of smartphone usage.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of children using smartphones, providing a balanced perspective.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas and offers a personal opinion, aligning with the essay's question.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout, discussing relevant points related to children and smartphone usage.
Your opinion
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?