some children spend hours everyday on their smartphones. why is this the case? Do you think this is positive or negative development ?

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Should children spend hours every day on their smartphones? We are now entering the age of technology and most parents are allowing their children to have their own personal smartphone for daily use.
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However
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However,
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this
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can create some issues and there are
positivies
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positives
and negatives to
this
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. One of the many advantages of having a phone is instant communication,
for example
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when your child is at school
while
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you're busy doing work in the office, you can always call or text anytime. Technology makes it easier for us to communicate
to
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with
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other people
eventhough
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even though
we're not in the same place.
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Moreover
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another positive impact
to
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of
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this
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is that it builds creativity for your child.
Additionally
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, these days accessing information is quicker and learning new things only takes a few minutes.
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, kids spending hours on their
ipads
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iPads
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or tablets can risk their brain health and
developments
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development
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on their body.
This
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can be unhealthy in the long run. Too much
of
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apply
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screen time can affect their eyesight in the near future, especially if they don't have breaks in between. Some parents don't supervise their kids and what they see online.
Although
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there are age restrictions, the internet might still be a dangerous place for younger audiences.
Furthermore
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,
ipads
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Ipads
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, laptops and
such
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create addictive behaviours not only
to
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for
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toddlers but
also
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for adults.
To conclude
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, I believe that children should not always be on their gadgets. Technology has become more
convinient
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convenient
but there are many disadvantages to
this
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. I think,
instead
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of playing games on their gadgets, they can play outside with friends or family, and interact with nature.
Submitted by lydiaia on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance the logical structure, consider organizing your essay into clear sections with distinct headings or paragraphs that focus on specific aspects of the topic.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly outlines the main points you intend to discuss in the essay, thus providing a roadmap for the reader.
supported main points
To strengthen your argument, provide more specific examples or evidence supporting your points about the positive and negative impacts of smartphone usage.
task achievement
The essay addresses both the positive and negative aspects of children using smartphones, providing a balanced perspective.
introduction conclusion present
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main ideas and offers a personal opinion, aligning with the essay's question.
clear comprehensive ideas
The essay maintains a clear focus on the topic throughout, discussing relevant points related to children and smartphone usage.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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