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Writing Samples
Band 7

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel.

The table below gives information about changes in modes of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Average distance in miles travelled per person per year, by mode of travel.
#information #changes #modes #travel #england #summarise #features #comparisons #distance #miles #person #year #mode
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Firstly
Linking Words
, the table gives information regarding changes in
modes
Use synonyms
 of travel in England between 1985 and 2000. After that, we have nine categories. These are walking, bicycle,
car
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, local bus, long-distance bus, train, taxi, other and all
modes
Use synonyms
.
Secondly
Linking Words
, when we look at the chart involves two years. These are 1985 and 2000. Later on, the highest
rate
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 the
Use synonyms
car’s
Change noun form
car
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 in 1985 and the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
is
Wrong verb form
was
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 taxis in 1985. These rates are 3199 and 13. As an extra the highest
rate
Use synonyms
 was 4806 in 2000 and the lowest
rate
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 was 41 in 2000. Both
car
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rate
Use synonyms
 is high in 1985 and 2000. As an extra walking
rate
Use synonyms
 is close to each other. Taking everything into account people preferred to
car
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, local bus, train and others. Generally, the
further
Linking Words
 ratio has a
car
Use synonyms
. All in all, the which is above mentioned describes selecting and reporting the main features
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and making comparisons where relevant. From my point of view, I strongly believe that all
modes
Use synonyms
 had 4,740 in 1985 and 6,475 in 2000.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, all
modes
Use synonyms
 increased in 2000.
Submitted by eylulelveren7 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 89%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words modes, car, rate with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "gives" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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