IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

A friend of yours recently gave you a nice birthday present. Your friend has written a letter to you asking for advice regarding a visit that his/her parents will be making to your area in the near future. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter, • recommend a place where they can stay • suggest the places they can visit • offer to do something with them

#friend #birthday #advice #visit #parents #area #future #place #places #offer
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Dear Sir I am writing to you about some places that you can have a
party
 with your family or friends There are fascinating places in my town.
For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 historical
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
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, restaurants, nice-looking
garden
Fix the agreement mistake
gardens
show examples
,
well-known
Correct word choice
and well-known
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 buildings so that many tourists come here.
According to
 statistics, 200 billion people come a year. There is the best
restaurant
 where you can enjoy having a
party
. Located in the city
center
Change the spelling
centre
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. The
restaurant
 is
perfect
Add an article
the perfect
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 place to come with family. The
restaurant
 has a lot of amenities.
Foe
Correct your spelling
For
show examples
 example delivery service that you can
order
 by stand in your home
therefore
 many customers want to
order
 from the
restaurant
. If you
give
Verb problem
have
show examples
 a
party
 in the
restaurant
 , the
restaurant
 will give you
special
Correct article usage
a special
show examples
 menu.
Last
 year I made my birthday
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
order
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the
restaurant
’s officiant gave me a special menu to
order
. The menu has different types of food and I have been using one from the list of foods. Many people give a description of using the
restaurant
 to have a
party
. The
restaurant
’s officials run smoothly and they cook very well, fast and of better quality than many
restaurant’s
Change noun form
restaurant
show examples
 employees. If you have a relative who is well
know
Wrong verb form
known
show examples
, the
restaurant
 will contract with your relative so that the
restaurant
 discounts that you can eat cheap food. Looking forward to hearing from you soon. Your fatefully Obitoo
Submitted by omondavlat91 on

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coherence cohesion
Consider creating distinct paragraphs for each main idea to improve clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to address all parts of the task explicitly: recommend a place to stay, suggest places to visit, and offer to do something with them.
coherence cohesion
The letter uses a friendly closing, which is appropriate for a letter to a friend.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is friendly, which suits the context of writing to a friend.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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