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Band 5.5

In the 21st century, many companies allow their employees to work from home. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh its disadvantages?

#st #century #companies #employees #work #home #development
Nowdays, employees of many companies have the opportunity to work remotely. Working from
home
 can offer a number of benefits;
however
, there are
also
 possible drawbacks to be discussed. I believe that advantages outweigh its disadvanages. One of the positives of working from
home
 is saving time. If the working hours are from 9 to 6, there is no need to wake up much earlier in order to travel to workplace - just wake up, do some morning routines and start your job. The time saved may be used on more useful things,
such
 as morning yoga, jogging, fitness, reading book and etc.
Secondly
, working from
home
 allows wearing more comfortable parts of clothes, as there is no any dress code requirement
in contrast
 to working in some corporate building. Sometimes, uncomfortable clothes do not allow us work efficiently. But there is
also
 some drawbacks of working from
home
 - no space for socializing. Sometimes, during breaks, we need communication in order to be charged and energized to continue performing tasks. Lack of the social enviroment and working like a robot may increase productivity first times, but
this
 is a short-term improvement, that won't
last
 long.
Submitted by khudiyeva17 on

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task achievement
Expand on examples of working from home to strengthen your argument, such as using productivity software or virtual team meetings.
coherence cohesion
Add a conclusion to summarize your arguments and reinforce your opinion that advantages outweigh disadvantages.
general
Proofread to correct minor grammatical errors, such as 'In 21st century' instead of 'In the 21st century' and 'disadvanages' should be 'disadvantages'. These don't significantly impact your score but are good to correct.
coherence cohesion
Well-structured essay with clear points about the advantages and disadvantages of working from home.
task achievement
Good balance between discussing pros (e.g., saving time, comfort) and cons (e.g., lack of socializing opportunity).

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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