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Writing Samples
Band 5

In numerous nations, there is a growing trend for individuals to frequently discuss financial matters, such as their earnings or expenditures, in everyday conversation. What are the reasons behind this phenomenon? Is it advantageous or detrimental?

People
Use synonyms
 are increasingly talking about money in common conversations about how much they make or spend in many different countries.
Therefore
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, the question is about the causes
why
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of why
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people
Use synonyms
 talk about
this
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 phenomenon and whether it is beneficial or harmful.
Firstly
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, one of the primary reasons
people
Use synonyms
 are frequently discussed across generations is the rising rate of inflation. As many nations continue to face high prices, citizens feel keberatan for buying their daily needs.
For example
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, after the Proxy War, there occurred an incident in Ukraine known as the Holodomor.
Man-made
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The man-made
A man-made
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 famine
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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caused mass starvation
due to
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 inflation and they
are
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were
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 unable to afford their own food.
Additionally
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,
people
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 now are more aware that commodities will rise and affect
the
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their
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price
Fix the agreement mistake
prices
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.
As a result
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, when
people
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from
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of
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 all ages gather and engage in
this
Linking Words
 conversation, they can gain a better understanding of the current trends in the money market. To be more specific,
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
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 will discuss cryptocurrency, mutual funds and stocks usually they have developed a sincere emotional or personal interest to achieve goals.
On the other hand
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, it is beneficial for learning and making financial
decìsions
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decisions
.
For instance
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,
people
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 can reduce worry and uncertainty about the future by implementing
short term
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short-term
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 and
long term
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long-term
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 financial strategies that take income and expenses into account. These discussions should take place once a day. By carefully managing their income and outcome, individuals can achieve financial gains over a more extended period of time. Most
people
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also
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 need to know how to take precautionary measures, it helps to support households facing rising prices. Many countries are introducing steps for targeting specific necessities,
specifically
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specifically,
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 they need to prioritize needs and set aside their ‘wants’. In conclusion, a lot of countries are talking about how to improve their economies to attract investment and how much inflation is. It could be advantageous for citizens to gain financial literacy and precautionary skills.

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task achievement
Your essay provides reasons for why people discuss financial matters and discusses both the advantages and disadvantages. However, try to elaborate more on each point to provide a more complete response.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is well-structured with an introduction and conclusion, the logical structure in some parts can be improved. For instance, ensure smooth transitions between ideas to maintain a coherent argument.
task achievement
Try to use more specific examples with detailed explanation to strengthen your arguments and support your main points effectively.
coherence cohesion
Your essay's conclusion ties the points together effectively, reiterating the potential benefits of discussing financial matters.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic by addressing the multiple facets of discussing financial issues in daily conversations.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic climate
  • social media platforms
  • transparency
  • cultural shifts
  • financial literacy
  • manage finances
  • comparison
  • competition
  • consumerism
  • trust
  • financial matters
  • earnings
  • expenditures
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