Task 2. The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

In recent years,
public
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the public
show examples
has considered
about
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apply
show examples
shortening the working
week
and extending the weekend.
In my
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My
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opinion, I strongly believe that
this
is a worthwhile
endeavor
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endeavour
show examples
as it benefits not only workers but
also
several economic fields.
Firstly
, since workers are faced with tremendous
difficulites
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difficulties
and deadlines from both professional and personal life, leading to stress and mental health problems, reducing the working period
in
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apply
show examples
each
week
will probably provide them with more
time
to solve
such
problems.
For instance
, employees who have
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
of
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
show examples
to complete at
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
show examples
will no longer feel helpless when they have to pick their children up at school as they now have more
time
.
Furthermore
, a shorter
work
week
will
also
enhance productivity.
This
is
due to
the fact that when employees have fewer days to complete their tasks, they tend to highly focus on
such
missions and
work
with
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at
show examples
higher
Correct article usage
a higher
show examples
pace. Take,
for example
, a company in Japan
conducted
Correct pronoun usage
that conducted
show examples
a
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apply
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research and showed that
four-day
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a four-day
show examples
work
Correct your spelling
workweek
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week
led to
40
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a 40
show examples
% increase in productivity.
Besides
this
, countries deciding to shorten the
week day
Correct your spelling
weekday
show examples
and extend the weekend will
also
reap financial rewards.
This
is because longer weekends provide
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
more
time
to relax,
pursure
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pursue
leisure
pursuit
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pursuits
show examples
and interact with society, which will significantly reduce stress and maintain a healthy
work
-life balance.
Moreover
,
such
modification can act as a precursor to fostering
the
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apply
show examples
economic growth, as with more leisure
time
, those people will take part in more relaxing activities, thriving
some
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in some
show examples
sectors
such
as tourism and entertainment.
For example
, in Finland, the tourism industry has witnessed
considerable
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a considerable
show examples
increase in revenue since the
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
reduced the length of
working
Add an article
the working
a working
show examples
week
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
weekend would be highly advantageous as it
provide
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provides
show examples
us
many
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with many
show examples
potential benefits in both individual and public aspects.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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Task Achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that your ideas are expanded with more depth and detail where possible. Add more examples and further explanations to fully develop your points. For instance, discuss how stress reduction specifically impacts productivity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for more sophisticated cohesion between your points and paragraphs, using a wider range of linking phrases and conjunctions. This will help in demonstrating a higher command of how ideas are connected clearly and logically.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic with well-reasoned arguments that support your stance.
Task Achievement
You have included effective examples to substantiate your points, such as the company in Japan and the tourism industry in Finland, which helps to make your argument convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, coherent body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion that summarizes your opinion well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of topic sentences and concluding sentences helps to guide the reader through your argument efficiently.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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