IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years,
public
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the public
show examples
 has considered
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
shortening the working
week
Use synonyms
 and extending the weekend.
In my
Change preposition
My
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 opinion, I strongly believe that
this
Linking Words
 is a worthwhile
endeavor
Change the spelling
endeavour
show examples
 as it benefits not only workers but
also
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 several economic fields.
Firstly
Linking Words
, since workers are faced with tremendous
difficulites
Correct your spelling
difficulties
 and deadlines from both professional and personal life, leading to stress and mental health problems, reducing the working period
in
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apply
show examples
each
week
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 will probably provide them with more
time
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 to solve
such
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 problems.
For instance
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, employees who have
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
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 of
task
Change to a plural noun
tasks
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 to complete at
Use synonyms
work place
Correct your spelling
workplace
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 will no longer feel helpless when they have to pick their children up at school as they now have more
time
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.
Furthermore
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, a shorter
work
Use synonyms
week
Use synonyms
 will
also
Linking Words
 enhance productivity.
This
Linking Words
 is
due to
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 the fact that when employees have fewer days to complete their tasks, they tend to highly focus on
such
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 missions and
work
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with
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at
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higher
Correct article usage
a higher
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 pace. Take,
for example
Linking Words
, a company in Japan
conducted
Correct pronoun usage
that conducted
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a
Remove the article
apply
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research and showed that
four-day
Correct article usage
a four-day
show examples
Use synonyms
work
Correct your spelling
workweek
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week
Use synonyms
 led to
40
Correct article usage
a 40
show examples
% increase in productivity.
Besides
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this
Linking Words
, countries deciding to shorten the
Use synonyms
week day
Correct your spelling
weekday
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 and extend the weekend will
also
Linking Words
 reap financial rewards.
This
Linking Words
 is because longer weekends provide
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
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 more
time
Use synonyms
 to relax,
pursure
Correct your spelling
pursue
 leisure
pursuit
Fix the agreement mistake
pursuits
show examples
 and interact with society, which will significantly reduce stress and maintain a healthy
work
Use synonyms
-life balance.
Moreover
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,
such
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 modification can act as a precursor to fostering
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
economic growth, as with more leisure
time
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, those people will take part in more relaxing activities, thriving
some
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in some
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 sectors
such
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 as tourism and entertainment.
For example
Linking Words
, in Finland, the tourism industry has witnessed
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
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 increase in revenue since the
gorvernment
Correct your spelling
government
 reduced the length of
working
Add an article
the working
a working
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week
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I strongly believe that
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 weekend would be highly advantageous as it
provide
Change the verb form
provides
show examples
 us
many
Change preposition
with many
show examples
 potential benefits in both individual and public aspects.

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Task Achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that your ideas are expanded with more depth and detail where possible. Add more examples and further explanations to fully develop your points. For instance, discuss how stress reduction specifically impacts productivity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for more sophisticated cohesion between your points and paragraphs, using a wider range of linking phrases and conjunctions. This will help in demonstrating a higher command of how ideas are connected clearly and logically.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic with well-reasoned arguments that support your stance.
Task Achievement
You have included effective examples to substantiate your points, such as the company in Japan and the tourism industry in Finland, which helps to make your argument convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, coherent body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion that summarizes your opinion well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of topic sentences and concluding sentences helps to guide the reader through your argument efficiently.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
What to do next:
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