Task 2. The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree?
In recent years,
public
has considered Add an article
the public
about
shortening the working Change preposition
apply
week
and extending the weekend. In my
opinion, I strongly believe that Change preposition
My
this
is a worthwhile endeavor
as it benefits not only workers but Change the spelling
endeavour
also
several economic fields.
Firstly
, since workers are faced with tremendous difficulites
and deadlines from both professional and personal life, leading to stress and mental health problems, reducing the working period Correct your spelling
difficulties
in
each Change preposition
apply
week
will probably provide them with more time
to solve such
problems. For instance
, employees who have a lots
of Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
task
to complete at Change to a plural noun
tasks
work place
will no longer feel helpless when they have to pick their children up at school as they now have more Correct your spelling
workplace
time
. Furthermore
, a shorter work
week
will also
enhance productivity. This
is due to
the fact that when employees have fewer days to complete their tasks, they tend to highly focus on such
missions and work
with
Change preposition
at
higher
pace. Take, Correct article usage
a higher
for example
, a company in Japan conducted
Correct pronoun usage
that conducted
a
research and showed that Remove the article
apply
four-day
Correct article usage
a four-day
work
Correct your spelling
workweek
week
led to 40
% increase in productivity.
Correct article usage
a 40
Besides
this
, countries deciding to shorten the week day
and extend the weekend will Correct your spelling
weekday
also
reap financial rewards. This
is because longer weekends provide worker
more Fix the agreement mistake
workers
time
to relax, pursure
leisure Correct your spelling
pursue
pursuit
and interact with society, which will significantly reduce stress and maintain a healthy Fix the agreement mistake
pursuits
work
-life balance. Moreover
, such
modification can act as a precursor to fostering the
economic growth, as with more leisure Correct article usage
apply
time
, those people will take part in more relaxing activities, thriving some
sectors Change preposition
in some
such
as tourism and entertainment. For example
, in Finland, the tourism industry has witnessed considerable
increase in revenue since the Add an article
a considerable
gorvernment
reduced the length of Correct your spelling
government
working
Add an article
the working
a working
week
.
In conclusion, I strongly believe that longer
weekend would be highly advantageous as it Correct article usage
a longer
provide
us Change the verb form
provides
many
potential benefits in both individual and public aspects.Change preposition
with many
Submitted by dohuyhoang on
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Task Achievement
To improve your task response, ensure that your ideas are expanded with more depth and detail where possible. Add more examples and further explanations to fully develop your points. For instance, discuss how stress reduction specifically impacts productivity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Strive for more sophisticated cohesion between your points and paragraphs, using a wider range of linking phrases and conjunctions. This will help in demonstrating a higher command of how ideas are connected clearly and logically.
Task Achievement
Your essay presents a clear position on the topic with well-reasoned arguments that support your stance.
Task Achievement
You have included effective examples to substantiate your points, such as the company in Japan and the tourism industry in Finland, which helps to make your argument convincing.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction, coherent body paragraphs, and a strong conclusion that summarizes your opinion well.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your use of topic sentences and concluding sentences helps to guide the reader through your argument efficiently.
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