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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.

The table below shows the percentage participation of women in senior management in three companies between 1975 and 2015.
#percentage #participation #women #management #three #companies
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The table depicts the proportion of female workers, who participated in senior management in three companies within 40 years from 1975 to 2015. Looking at
an
Correct article usage
the
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overall
Linking Words
 structure,it is readily apparent that,there were
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
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for
Change preposition
in
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 all percentages of participants over the given
period
Use synonyms
.Preliminary part of the
period
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,Finsbury
Ltd
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 was observed as the highest indicator,which
replaced
Add a missing verb
was replaced
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 by Eldan
Ltd
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 in the ultimate
period
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.
Initially
Linking Words
,for Eldan
Ltd
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,the rate accounted for 3% in19 75,
remained
Correct word choice
and remained
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 steady in 1980.
Change the spelling
Afterwards
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Afterward
Add a comma
Afterward,
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 the sum grew consistently until the end,the final count was 64% in 2015.In terms of Bamforth
Ltd
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,the share constituted 9% in 1975,
then
Linking Words
 increased steadily,the indication was equal to 46%
in
Change the preposition
at
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 the end of
Use synonyms
period
Add an article
the period
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. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
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Finsbury
Ltd
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,it began the
period
Use synonyms
as
Change preposition
at
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 16%,declined gradually until 1985,
Linking Words
thereafter
Correct word choice
and thereafter
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 amounted to 15% in 1985.The share dropped slightly from 22% in 1980 to 20% in 2000,despite a rise to 26% in 2015.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, ltd with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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