IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Many countries have the same shops and products. Some consider it a positive development, whereas others consider it negative. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #shops #products #consider #development
Nowadays, many areas in the world have similar goods and markets. And it is
obviously
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obvious
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 that
this
 statement has as many huge benefits as negatives. In my opinion, it has a balanced idea and I will agree with both
ponts
Correct your spelling
points
 of view. On the one hand, people think
this
 can be a positive development in the future. Today, humans and normal citizens can buy almost whatever
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
they want.
For example
, in the past, it was mostly impossible and your products and your foods
,
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apply
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 could depend on where you live. If you were living in the city you may depend on big industries, companies, and brands, and don'
t
 see nature products, by small organizations.
However
, nowadays you can eat and buy whatever you wish.
On the other hand
, in the opinion of individuals,
this
 state has only negative things.
For instance
, the idea of traditions. In the world, so many nations and countries, and all of them have special meals and peculiarity. Small industries can'
t
 compete with big opponents and companies. And it has a minus
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 small organizations. Huge industries don'
t
 stop if they will see the income. So,
due to
this
, they can ruin the speciality of many groups and nations,
which
Correct pronoun usage
whose
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 secrets
were
Wrong verb form
have been
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 kept for
thousand
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thousands
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years
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of years
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. In conclusion, I would say that in the world so many countries and persons. All of them wish to taste something not simple and new.
While
, if it will damage
to
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apply
show examples
others it can'
t
 be possible
for
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to
show examples
improvement
Replace the word
improve
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. I would say that both points of view are possible and good.
Submitted by bizhanalikhan6 on

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task achievement
Try to clarify and develop your main points more thoroughly. Provide clear reasons and possibly more specific examples related to global market trends.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring your ideas are logically grouped and well-developed. Each paragraph should have a clear central idea and supporting details should directly relate to it.
task achievement
The essay covers both perspectives of the topic and offers an opinion in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
The structure of introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion is maintained well throughout the essay.
task achievement
The arguments presented are logical and are generally aimed at answering the essay question.

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