Some people believe that the care of elderly people should be a priority of government spending. Others believe that government spending should focus more on young people, especially on their education. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
To manage
the resources and how to spend them on Change the verb form
Managing
the
Correct article usage
apply
people
of different age
group
is Fix the agreement mistake
groups
the
contentious issue that needs remarkable Correct article usage
a
attention
.Plethora
of Correct article usage
A Plethora
people
believe that government
should consider young Correct article usage
the government
people
while
other
think that old Fix the agreement mistake
others
people
should be given more attention
.This
esseay
will elucidate both sides in the impending paragraphs.
Correct your spelling
essay
To begin
with,young people
play vital
role in the growth of the nation.They are the Add an article
a vital
people
of strong nerves who with a minute attention
can make the system Change preposition
of attention
to
prosper .Fix the infinitive
apply
Government
should facilitate them by allocating the
funds,Correct article usage
apply
government
should initiate the
schemes that help them to establish Correct article usage
apply
the
small Correct article usage
apply
start ups
which in turn would thrive the businesses and would Add a hyphen
start-ups
eliviate
Correct your spelling
eliminate
the
joblessness.Correct article usage
apply
For instance
,the countries who
invest Correct pronoun usage
that
on
the youth have less poverty than others.Change preposition
in
An other
heated argument in Correct your spelling
Another
this
regard is that Young minds and brains need more funds than older ones because they are in the process of struggle
Wrong verb form
struggling
of
various types like education and Change preposition
for
then
later on business so these policies of government
would reduce their problems substantially.
On contrary
,There is another Correct article usage
the contrary
group
who think that old people
are Correct article usage
a volunerable
volunerable
part of Correct your spelling
vulnerable
the
society and are not able to earn Correct article usage
apply
there
livelihood so it is the Replace the word
their
government
Change noun form
government's
responsibilty
to take care of them.Correct your spelling
responsibility
Government
should render their services and should spend on Correct article usage
The government
the
old homes,Correct article usage
apply
better
health Correct word choice
and better
centers
and should give free treatment to Change the spelling
centres
the
Remove the article
apply
such
age
group
citizens. In many countries
children leave their parents Add a comma
countries,
in
Change preposition
at
the
older Correct article usage
an
age
so in that senario
Correct your spelling
scenario
government
is responsible for their food and residence .Hence
,government
should Add an article
the government
favor
them over the Change the spelling
favour
yougesters
because their Correct your spelling
youngsters
age
do
not allow them to suffer for their survival.
Change the verb form
does
To conclude
,I believe that all age
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
people
need the
Correct article usage
apply
resouces
to survive but if Correct your spelling
resources
government
pay Correct article usage
the government
attention
to the
fresh and energetic minds they in turn would help the Correct article usage
apply
governement
to generate Correct your spelling
government
the
revenue which Correct article usage
apply
finally
can be utilized for the enire
society so in my opinion youth need more budget because they will make Correct your spelling
entire
this
investment to multiply rather than just using this
amount for a meal.Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on
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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between ideas and paragraphs for better coherence. Using more linking words and phrases can help guide the reader through your argument smoothly.
task achievement
Improve the clarity of ideas by avoiding overly complex sentences that might confuse the reader. Ensuring each idea is clearly and succinctly communicated will aid comprehensibility.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to substantiate your points. This not only strengthens your argument but also demonstrates a deeper analysis of the topic.
task achievement
The essay effectively covers both perspectives, discussing the needs of both young and elderly populations.
coherence cohesion
A clear introduction and conclusion are present, effectively framing the discussion and summarizing your viewpoint.
task achievement
The argument presented in favor of government spending on young people is well-articulated, highlighting their role in economic growth and job creation.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.