IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

2.The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in seven different types of profession across the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary. Write at least 150 words.

2.The chart illustrates the percentage of male and female executives in seven different types of profession across the UK in 2007. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where necessary. Write at least 150 words.
#percentage #executives #seven #profession #uk #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The chart represents
percentage
Add an article
the percentage
show examples
 of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 in six various forms of profession in
Correct article usage
the Uk
show examples
Uk
Correct your spelling
UK
show examples
 in 2007.
Overall
,in teaching
female
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females
show examples
 are
dominent
Correct your spelling
dominant
 than
male
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males
show examples
while
 in construction
female
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females
show examples
 are negligible than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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.
However
Add a comma
However,
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 in advertising,Journalism,scientists and
law
Add a comma
law,
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 both genders have almost
compareable
Correct your spelling
comparable
 percentages.
To begin
 ,
Journalis
Correct your spelling
journalism
 is only the
prefession
Correct your spelling
profession
 among all listed where men and women are equal in
numbers
 .
However
 ,in teaching ,
advertising
Correct word choice
and advertising
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 ,therapists women are more than men with percentages
52
Change preposition
of 52
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%,90% and 81%.Teaching and
therapistrs
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therapists
 are the
profession
Change the noun form
professions
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 where
female
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females
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 have
remarkbly
Correct your spelling
remarkably
 high in
numbers
 than
male
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males
show examples
.In
teaching
Add a comma
teaching,
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female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
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 are 90%
while
male
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males
show examples
 are only 10% .On
contrary
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the contrary
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, In construction,scientists and law
male
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males
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 are larger in number with
numbers
 90%,60% and 54 % respectively .In construction gap in the
numbers
 of
male
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males
show examples
 and
female
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females
show examples
 is
highest
Correct article usage
the highest
show examples
 which is 80%.
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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