The graph below shows how elderly people in Europe spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#people #europe #time #information #features #comparisons

The given graph illustrates the types of leisure activities that the senior citizen in Europe did in their free time

Change preposition

from

show examples

1980 to 2010.

Overall

, a significant growth can be seen in hiking

whereas

reading, going to

theatre

Add an article

the theatre

show examples

and watching TV fluctuated over the period given. In 1980, there were only 20%

people

who went on a hike.

This

number had a 20% growth every decade and reached its peak in 2010 with 80% of the population.

Likewise

, internet surfing

also

had an upward trend. It started with around 5% in 1980, and slightly increased to 15% in 2000.

This

number

then

increased by three-fold in 2010 to 50%.

In contrast

, watching TV began with the highest

persentage

Correct your spelling

percentage

Change the preposition

show examples

the beginning of the period which was 60%. There was a slight increase until the 2000s when it dropped to approximately 65% of elderly

people

Furthermore

, There were around 30%

elders

Change preposition

of elders

show examples

who loved reading in 1980.

However

this

number fluctuated during the next 20 years and

ending

Wrong verb form

ended

show examples

with a notable increase accounting for 60% of

people

in 2010.

Similarly

elderly

Correct article usage

the elderly

show examples

who visited the theatre

also

experienced a decline during 1990 and

this

percentage rose gradually and allocated around three-quarters of

people

in 2010.

Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on Thu Oct 10 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 4 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.

▼

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Grammar mistakes
 

3 paragraphs

202 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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The graph below shows how elderly people in Europe spent their free time between 1980 and 2010. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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