The charts below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in diﬀerent occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008. Write at least 150 words.

#show #percentage #people #diﬀerent #occupations #uk #town #ashby

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The pie charts compare the jobs of

people

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aged 23-65

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

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in Ashby and in the

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in general in 2008.

Overall

Linking Words

, the majority of

people

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in both Ashby town and

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Correct article usage

the UK

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were office

workers

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and personal service

workers

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. In Ashby, there were slightly above 20% who worked in personal service sectors. Followed by office employees and construction

workers

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accounting for 18% and 16% respectively. Unemployed individuals and shop

workers

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had the same numbers which was 14%.

Lastly

Linking Words

, professional and technical

workers

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accounted

the

Change preposition

for the

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lowest number in the town with just below 10% of

people

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. Meanwhile, in the

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as a whole, office

workers

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had the biggest proportion with 19% of the population.

Moreover

Linking Words

people

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working in personal service and technical industries shared the same exact number with 17% of individuals.

Similarly

Linking Words

, there were 10% of construction

workers

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and unemployed

people

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which was

also

Linking Words

the lowest percentage for the

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. Professional and shop

workers

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allocated just below 15%.

Submitted by ameliahanakaru01 on Thu Oct 10 2024

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, uk, workers with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

158 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

occupational distribution
employment structure
percentages
overrepresented
underrepresented
demographic factors
educational background
economic implications
national average
regional variation
workforce composition
sectoral employment
job market dynamics
statistical comparison
trend analysis

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The charts below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in diﬀerent occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008. Write at least 150 words.

Some people think that work is the most important thing in people's lives. Without the success of a career, life will become meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should be given lessons on how to manage money in school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Computers and A.I technology are increasingly being used for online education Can artificial intelligence enhance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development?

Some people think universities should provide knowledge and skills related to a future career; others think the true function of a university is to give access to knowledge for its own sake. What is your opinion of the main function of university?