IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The charts below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008.

The charts below show the percentage of people aged 23-65 in different occupations in one UK town (Ashby) and in the UK as a whole in 2008.
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The pie charts compare the jobs of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 23-65
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
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in Ashby and in the
UK
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 in general in 2008.
Overall
Linking Words
, the majority of
people
Use synonyms
 in both Ashby town and
Use synonyms
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
 were office
workers
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 and personal service
workers
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. In Ashby, there were slightly above 20% who worked in personal service sectors. Followed by office employees and construction
workers
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 accounting for 18% and 16% respectively. Unemployed individuals and shop
workers
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 had the same numbers which was 14%.
Lastly
Linking Words
, professional and technical
workers
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 accounted
the
Change preposition
for the
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 lowest number in the town with just below 10% of
people
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. Meanwhile, in the
UK
Use synonyms
 as a whole, office
workers
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 had the biggest proportion with 19% of the population.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
people
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 working in personal service and technical industries shared the same exact number with 17% of individuals.
Similarly
Linking Words
, there were 10% of construction
workers
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 and unemployed
people
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 which was
also
Linking Words
 the lowest percentage for the
UK
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. Professional and shop
workers
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 allocated just below 15%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words people, uk, workers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "just below" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • occupational distribution
  • employment structure
  • percentages
  • overrepresented
  • underrepresented
  • demographic factors
  • educational background
  • economic implications
  • national average
  • regional variation
  • workforce composition
  • sectoral employment
  • job market dynamics
  • statistical comparison
  • trend analysis
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