Some people think it is better for children to grow up in the city, while others think that life in the countryside for children is more suitable for them. What are the advantages and disadvantages of both places for children to grow up?

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Nowaday
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Nowadays

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, many people
prefers
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prefer

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their
children
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to grow up in the city rather than living out of
town
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.
This
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essay discusses some advantages and disadvantages of growing up in the city and the
countryside
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. It is convenient for the
childern
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children

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to attend a better school if the
children
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growing up in the
town
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.
Majority
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The majority

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of the high-band
schools
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are located in the
town
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and there are different types of kindergartens or primary
schools
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for the parents to choose
.
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from.

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For instance
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, international
schools
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and public
schools
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. The parents have more options to choose a better school to suit their
children
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's
need
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needs

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. The
schools
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can provide a good learning
enivorment
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environment

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and teaching resources.
In
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As

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result
Correct article usage
a result

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, the
children
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would gain more academic knowledge and enter
to
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apply

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a better
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better schools
a better school

The indefinite article a may not be required with the plural noun schools in this sentence. Consider removing the article, or changing the noun to singular.

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schools
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for their
further
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learning.
However
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, there
are
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is

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more
distration
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distraction
distractions

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for the
children
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if they
living
Wrong verb form
live

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in the
town
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. There are lots of
entertainments
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entertainment

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for the
children
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. The
children
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may spend time
to watch
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watching

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tevlevision
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television

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, playing computer games and watching
Youtubes
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YouTube

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videos. The more time they spend on
theses
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these

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entertainments, the less time to spend on their academic studies. Their
leaning
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learning

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motivication
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motivation
notification

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will be reduced and the exam
result
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results

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will be affected. It may bring some health issues
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as obesity and
eyes
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eye

Your sentence appears to use the incorrect form of eyes. Consider changing it to singular.

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problems. Growing up in the
countryside
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, the
children
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can learn a lot of
lifeskills
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life skills

The word lifeskills doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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and learn to be an independent person. In the
countryside
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, there are not many electronic devices to
distration
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distract

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the
children
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. The
children
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can play more interactive games with other
children
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.
For example
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, play
hide-an-seek
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hide-and-seek

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, learn how to plant
the
Correct article usage
apply

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vegetables or build a little treehouse by using
the
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apply

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natural materials. It can strengthen the fine motor skills of the
children
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and
enhances
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enhance

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their social skills. The
children
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cannot enjoy learning the new
knowledges
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knowledge
pieces of knowledge
bits of knowledge

It appears that knowledges is an uncountable noun and should not be made plural. Consider changing the noun.

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like AI and
latest
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the latest

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courses in the
countryside
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.

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coherence cohesion
Improve your introduction and conclusion. Your essay's opening could better outline the main points you intend to cover, and a conclusion summarizing these points would strengthen your discussion.
task achievement
Expand on your points with more specific examples. For instance, when discussing schools or life skills, mention particular examples or statistics to strengthen your argument.
task achievement
Clarify and elaborate on ideas. Ensure each paragraph has a clear central idea that is fully developed and explained.
task achievement
You have identified several relevant advantages and disadvantages of both city and countryside living for children, showing a balanced view.
coherence cohesion
The essay presents a logical structure, with a clear division between discussing cities and the countryside.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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