Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. To what extent do you agree?

#parents #pressure #children

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Nowadays,

unfortunately

Add a comma

unfortunately,

show examples

children

Use synonyms

were

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

exposure

Replace the word

exposed

show examples

to pressure.

Definitely

Add a comma

Definitely,

show examples

it's correct some

parents

Use synonyms

especially blame

Change preposition

apply

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

for unsuccess. I think shouldn'

Use synonyms

thing

Add an article

a thing

the thing

show examples

. But now people

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

want specifically

become

Fix the infinitive

to become

show examples

doctor

Fix the agreement mistake

doctors

show examples

pilot

Fix the agreement mistake

pilots

show examples

most of

list

Add an article

the list

show examples

for

parents

Use synonyms

choice

Replace the word

choose

show examples

for their

children

Use synonyms

Main

Correct article usage

The main

show examples

matter for

this

Linking Words

title,

exactly

Add a missing verb

is exactly

show examples

Use synonyms

children

Change noun form

children's

show examples

life

Fix the agreement mistake

lives

show examples

. İf

parents

Use synonyms

continue to

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

pressure,

unfortunately

Add a comma

unfortunately,

show examples

children

Use synonyms

probably be guilty or unqualified. We

saw

Wrong verb form

have seen

show examples

most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

kids like that already, so ı said all the time Our need

Change preposition

for

show examples

education but family education, recently

parents

Use synonyms

decide

Verb problem

made

show examples

wrong decisions

so much

Rephrase

apply

show examples

Linking Words

then

Replace the word

than

show examples

previous. My idea still

don'

Verb problem

hasn't

show examples

Use synonyms

changed

for

Change preposition

from

show examples

this

Linking Words

perspective.

This

Linking Words

Add a missing verb

is like

show examples

a crime you may be

children

Use synonyms

but you can'

Use synonyms

every time managed them. You have sometimes

opportunity

Add an article

an opportunity

the opportunity

show examples

for

children

Use synonyms

you

can

Verb problem

apply

show examples

speak about daily life or feature career steps. Those

valuable

Add a missing verb

are valuable

show examples

things for a kid. Feel really important especially for

children

Use synonyms

if you don'

Use synonyms

give real emotion your child probably doesn'

Use synonyms

succeed. You pay attention

some

Change preposition

to some

show examples

rules

Use synonyms

. You should release your

children

Use synonyms

for more comfortable days.

Children

Use synonyms

it is really sensitive that's why you need to know how

approach

Add the particle

to approach

show examples

him or her. Substantial part of

family

Add an article

the family

a family

show examples

, if you don'

Use synonyms

have any

rules

Use synonyms

in the home you need to make new home

rules

Use synonyms

for innovation and more healthy make

relationship

Fix the agreement mistake

relationships

show examples

Linking Words

Finally

Add a comma

Finally,

show examples

if you

thought

Wrong verb form

think

show examples

pressure or you press your child already you need to

changed

Change the verb

change

show examples

your

rules

Use synonyms

it's not certainly

solution

Add an article

a solution

show examples

, just you make angry your child but as ı said it wouldn'

Use synonyms

solution

Add an article

the solution

a solution

show examples

. For

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

useful method you need to consult psychology.

Submitted by yaexar on Thu Oct 10 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Improve the logical flow between paragraphs by using clear linking words or phrases. This will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

task achievement

Provide specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your argument more convincing and comprehensive.

introduction conclusion present

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the main argument and the conclusion effectively summarizes your points.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the task and explores the issue of parental pressure on children, which indicates a good grasp of the topic.

clear comprehensive ideas

The essay presents a clear viewpoint on the negative effects of pressure on children, which demonstrates an effort to address the task requirements.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
40
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

258 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

academic excellence
extracurricular activities
prosperous future
societal standards
peer competition
motivation
discipline
unfulfilled ambitions
resource availability
opportunity exploitation

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?
Nowadays, grown edibles are frequently transported by aircraft to nations that do not have access to them. There are both advantages and disadvantages to this method of delivery such as environmental pollution as a drawback and countries relying on imported foods is a benefit due to the fact some crops are not grown in those places.
4.5
band
In some counties young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.
Education is a high investment people can do it for themselves. decides between travel or study the university straight forward is a big decision and there are a lot of optimistic and pessimistic in this resolution. From my point of view, The biggest advantage of traveling a year before the university is to get life experience and enhance responsibility and communication skills, while the most fear about this decision is not wanting to complete studying for many reasons.
6.5
band
Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. (# typing) What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?
The decline in hand-written writing and the increasing use of technology such as typing is a widely discussed topic in the education and writing community. While some people view it as a natural progression in the modern age of technology, others see it as a negative development that may lead to a loss of important cognitive and physical skills.
6.5
band
People find it difficult to speak in front of the public or to give a presentation. How important is to speak well in public. Do you think children at school should be taught public speaking?
Some feel uncomfortable while speaking in front of many people. The fair influences how they are perceived in their work community. However, I strongly believe that teaching kids how to speak in public would solve this problem.
8
band
ome people think that the study of history is of little use . Others believe that studying history helps us to know the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.
History is but an account of the progress of human civilisation , however, since the study of it has no tangible benefits like the sciences, many consider it useless. Contrary to this, others view that dude should learn from his past to better the present and mould the future. This essay delves into both these contrasting ideas, ere a conclusion is evolved. First of all, the former opinion is based on the fact that the study of the past is unproductive. For instance, the past is only an account of man's past wars and conquests. Studying learning, on the other hand, is helpful to fellows in many ways. Moreover, extensive research and newer innovations are essential for human beings to be able to face the enormous demands of the ever-increasing masses. Only discipline can save the world in future from total destruction. In contrast, the latter view is founded on deeper thinking. It argues that humans should know the paths they have trodden (= travelled) in the past to becom...

Many parents put a lot of pressure on their children to succeed. To what extent do you agree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Air transport is increasingly used to export fruit and vegetables to countries where they cannot be grown or are out of season. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this?

In some counties young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decide to do this.

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. (# typing) What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

People find it difficult to speak in front of the public or to give a presentation. How important is to speak well in public. Do you think children at school should be taught public speaking?

ome people think that the study of history is of little use . Others believe that studying history helps us to know the present. Discuss both viewpoints and give your own opinion.