Some students work while studying. This often results in lacking time for education and constantly feeling under pressure. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
These days,
every where
you turn on the TV or flick through the pages of a Correct your spelling
everywhere
news paper
, you see news about international Correct your spelling
newspaper
students
and their sufferings. The question arised
in our mind, Correct your spelling
arises
arise
raised
whatmakes
them suffer there? Many people give different Correct your spelling
what makes
reason
about the Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
students
who are dealing with anxiety and time
managment
Correct your spelling
management
issue
. I completely agree with the Fix the agreement mistake
issues
statment
and will present Correct your spelling
statement
my
solutions, that I believe Change the word
the
is
best for them.
Nowadays, many individuals are moving Correct subject-verb agreement
are
to
abroad for higher studies. Many reporters claim thatChange preposition
apply
,
the number of working Remove the comma
apply
students
are
increasing day by day. Because of their work routine Correct subject-verb agreement
is
students
are not able to give proper time
to their education. Even sometime
they feel under pressure because of the Replace the word
sometimes
toughtime
they have been facing there. Correct your spelling
tough time
tough times
However
, there are many reasons behind it. Firstly
, most students
are from undeveloped nations and their countries can not afford scholorships
for them. Correct your spelling
scholarships
Secondly
, majority
are from poor backgrounds and their parents can not look after their expenses, which is the major factor Add an article
the majority
bahind
their labour in Correct your spelling
behind
international
world. Add an article
the international
an international
Thirdly
, the feeses
of the Correct your spelling
fees
universities
are too high. Last
but not least, taxes
are the main burden on the students
. All these factors forces
Change the verb form
force
students
to go on a job and have enough money to pay the university and the government
in form
of tax.
Correct article usage
the form
Moreover
, there are numerous solution
that can help Fix the agreement mistake
solutions
in reducing
the burden Wrong verb form
reduce
of
the Change preposition
on
students
, also
it will make
them relax and in Wrong verb form
makes
return
the world will have Add a comma
return,
less
suicide cases. The Change the quantifier
fewer
government
of those countries can play a huge role in it. At first
the Add a comma
first,
taxes
on the students
should be minimize
, because it is hard for the Wrong verb form
minimised
students
to pay taxes
to the authorities, specially
at the Replace the word
especially
time
when they had
to pay Wrong verb form
have
feeses
. Additionally
, the universities
should reconsider their fee structures and try their level best to make it less costly. This
initiative by the universities
authorities and the Change the noun form
university
government
will shrink the burden on the students
. They will be able to pay more attentions
to their studies, rather Fix the agreement mistake
attention
then
earning money.
Replace the word
than
Hence
, it is proven from the above argument that students
from the
undeveloped nations, do not have enough resources to pay the bills and Correct article usage
apply
feeses
in other countries, durating
their education. For Correct your spelling
during
this
, they search for jobs before they enter into
Change preposition
apply
the
Correct article usage
apply
universities
, which thrust them in
serious problems of Change preposition
into
the
Correct article usage
apply
time
managment
and anxiety. Correct your spelling
management
However
, only government
and Correct article usage
the government
universities
can lessen their hurdles through
minimizing Change preposition
by
taxes
and university feeses
.Submitted by hadiyanasir73 on
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task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will make your argumentation more convincing and clearer for the reader.
coherence and cohesion
Strengthen the logical structure of your essay by ensuring that each paragraph has a clear main idea and flows smoothly to the next. Transition words and phrases may help in making connections between ideas clearer.
task achievement
The essay covers the main aspects of the prompt by discussing both causes and potential solutions for the issue of students working while studying.
coherence and cohesion
You've provided a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the topic and summarizing your arguments.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example