IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

More and more people decide to eat healthy food and exercise regularly. What are the reasons for this trend? What can be done to encourage more people to eat healthier and exercise?

#people #food #exercise #trend
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Now a days
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
, unhealthy
food
 and ailments associated with it
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 become
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 contentious issue.Recently,
people
 are aware of
this
 pressing issue and are taking measures
negate
Add the particle
to negate
show examples
 the impacts of unhealthy
food
.In the impending paragraphs ,I am going to elucidate the causes that compel
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to opt
healthy
Change preposition
for healthy
show examples
food
 and
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
 daily.
Firstly
,
this
 is the modern world of technology ,
ways
Correct word choice
and ways
show examples
 of
communcation
Correct your spelling
communication
 have been revolutionised dramatically.
Poople
Correct your spelling
People
know the value of a
sound
 body and prefer
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
balance
Change the verb form
balanced
show examples
 diet over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
contaminated
food
.Social media is the main reason behind
this
 awareness,
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 has turned
in to
Correct your spelling
into
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 global village.
For example
 ,in the past,
people
lack
Wrong verb form
lacked
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 healthy routine but with the developments in science and with the advent of technology
people
 are more frugal towards their healthy
life style
Correct your spelling
lifestyle
show examples
.
Secondly
,
people
 have become attention
seeker
Fix the agreement mistake
seekers
show examples
,on different social media websites
people
 follow each other and post their photos.Everyone wants to be liked by other
people
,
in
Correct word choice
and in
show examples
 order to do
this
 they go to
gym
Add an article
the gym
show examples
 and post it on different platforms .That most of the time inspires others to copy them for
sake
Correct article usage
the sake
show examples
 of attention.
Moreover
,a lot of
Tv
Correct your spelling
TV
show examples
 channels are being paid to promote the different types of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
excercise equipments
Correct your spelling
exercise equipment
 which attracts the masses towards the workout.
For
example
Add a comma
example,
show examples
 if the news channels are explaining the pros and cons of the unhealthy routines .
This
 motivates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 to do some physical activity.
Lastly
,
people
 live in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 materialistic
worls
Correct your spelling
world
 where everyone is living in speedy life and wants to be
sucessful
Correct your spelling
successful
.
This
 hunger to earn money and to be rich encourages
people
 to keep themselves healthy. In conclusion,
Sound
Correct article usage
a Sound
show examples
 body has a
sound
 mind and
sound
Correct article usage
a sound
show examples
 mind enables one to focus on their goals.
This
 quest has
enforced
Verb problem
forced
show examples
poeple
Correct your spelling
people
 to be cautious about their
food
 and
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
.
Submitted by shehzadarshad976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Ensure to develop ideas fully in each paragraph, especially regarding how social media influences healthy living.
coherence cohesion
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and clarity of expression to enhance coherence.
task response
The essay effectively identifies and examines key reasons why people choose healthier lifestyles.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion clearly frame the essay, providing a strong starting and ending point.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: