In recent years virtual tourism including virtual reality tours, 360 videos has emerged as an alternative form of travelling reshaping the way people explore destinations and connect with cultural heritage from after. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

#years #tourism #reality #tours #videos #alternative #form #people #destinations #heritage #development

Nowadays, tourism has begun to improve. Museums and other

common

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commonly

show examples

visited places started virtual tourism including virtual reality tours.

Travelers

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Travellers

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can just sit in one place and see 360 virtual videos.

This

essay will look into

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

of virtual travelling and answer

given

Correct article usage

the given

show examples

question.

Firstly

, virtual reality tours can help

people

who have disabilities and can travel around the world. They just need to have a TV, phone, tablet, computer or VR glasses in which they can see virtual images of places which are interesting

for

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show examples

them. In

this

way

Add a comma

way,

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people

with disabilities can expand their horizons and get to know the world.

Secondly

, 360 videos help

for

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apply

show examples

people

who are poorer and can not afford long-distance trips. It is better for them because they can not feel worse than others.

Thirdly

, virtual

travels

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travel

show examples

can help to save time.

For example

people

can just sit in their

bed

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beds

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and visit the Eiffel

tower

Capitalize word

Tower

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or Machu

picchu

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Picchu

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However

, virtual

travels

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travel

show examples

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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incomparable

with

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show examples

real

travels

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travel

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. In real

travels

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travels,

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people

feel really different emotions. These emotions are priceless and none of VR travels can change

such

emotions. When a person travels, he/she not only sees visited objects but

also

gets to know

with

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apply

show examples

native culture, local residents, and national dishes. In conclusion, virtual

travels

Fix the agreement mistake

travel

show examples

360

Correct word choice

and 360

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videos have advantages and disadvantages.

Such

a travel method is really beneficial for

people

with disabilities, poorer

people

for

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apply

show examples

people

who have little time for

traveling

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travelling

show examples

. VR travel the biggest disadvantage is less emotional experience which remains for life. So, the advantages of

this

development do not outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by oimigle on Fri Oct 11 2024

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coherence cohesion

To improve the logical structure, ensure each paragraph flows naturally to the next. Use linking words and phrases more effectively.

task achievement

Enhance clarity by organizing your points more systematically and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

task achievement

Add more specific examples that illustrate your points about the advantages and disadvantages of virtual travel.

coherence cohesion

The essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively framing the discussion.

task achievement

The essay addresses the topic by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, showcasing a balanced perspective.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
21Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

264 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

virtual reality
360 videos
cultural heritage
alternative form of traveling
cost-effective
accessible
democratize
far-off places
sensory experiences
preservation
over-tourism
environmental impact
carbon emissions
pollution
local economy

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In recent years virtual tourism including virtual reality tours, 360 videos has emerged as an alternative form of travelling reshaping the way people explore destinations and connect with cultural heritage from after. Do the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Should long-term job seekers in receipt of government benefits be made to do voluntary work so that they give something back to the community?

Many young people today know more about international pop or movie stars than about famous people in the history of their own country. Why is this? What can be done to increase young people's interest in famous people in the history of their country?

In spite of the advances made in argiculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Many offices authorities impose a restriction on smoking within the office premises. Some governments have even banned smoking in all public places. This is a good idea but it takes away some of our freedom. Do you agree or disagree that this is the right of course. Give reason for your opinion.

Countries are becoming more and more similar because people are able to buy the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?