Some people asert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #asert #college #students #jobs

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Some people insist that it is beneficial for college

students

have

Add the particle

to have

show examples

part-time

jobs

. I totally agree with

this

idea for several reasons like working

experience

and acknowledging the value of

money

Firstly

, having working

experience

good

Add an article

a good

show examples

method to be a social member. It means

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

students

have to learn the way to interact with other people in working place. Without those

experiece

Correct your spelling

experience

experiences

, they could have

Add an article

show examples

hard time to adjust

real world

Add a hyphen

real-world

show examples

society.

For example

, I read an article that highlighted the fact that companies prefer to hire

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enployee

Correct your spelling

employees

who have plenty of

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

experience

than

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

do not

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

since they want

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

member

Fix the agreement mistake

members

show examples

who are socialized enough.

In other words

students

who have various working

experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

could get

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

show examples

to be hired

than

Correct quantifier usage

more than

show examples

others.

Secondly

students

had to know the value of

money

. Nowadays, many teenagers

received

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

money

from their parents. They do not know how hard their parents worked to earn

money

. So they easily waste

money

For instance

, there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research that the teen who

earn

Change the verb form

earns

show examples

money

by themselves spend less

money

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

received

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

money

from their parents. It means that if they have part-time

jobs

, they

realised

Wrong verb form

realise

show examples

how hard to earn

money

and

changed

Wrong verb form

change

show examples

their tendency to save

money

To sum up

it is clear that

there are many advantages of having part-time

jobs

Young-agers

Correct your spelling

Young agers

show examples

should be raised as an adult who can stand

Change preposition

show examples

their own foot. They could

inhence

Correct your spelling

enhance

the

Change the word

their

show examples

chance of employment and stand the

ecomonic

Correct your spelling

economic

concept by having part-time

jobs

. For these reasons, I strongly agree that having part-time

jobs

is good for

students

Submitted by semimama on Fri Oct 11 2024

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task achievement

Consider adding more detailed examples or evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Review and refine sentence structures to enhance clarity and fluency. This might help in making your essay read more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

The essay introduces the topic clearly and provides a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.

task achievement

The writer effectively presents a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some people asert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed education and found jobs. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

An organisation has given an advertisement for part time volunteering job for local children. Write a letter to the administrator of the organisation in your letter introduce yourself Why you think you are suitable for this. Job State when you will be able to join

In some countries young people are encouraged to work or travel for a year between finishing high school and starting university studies. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages for young people who decided to do this.