Some people asert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #asert #college #students #jobs

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Some people insist that it is beneficial for college

students

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have

Add the particle

to have

show examples

part-time

jobs

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. I totally agree with

this

Linking Words

idea for several reasons like working

experience

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and acknowledging the value of

money

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Firstly

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, having working

experience

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good

Add an article

a good

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method to be a social member. It means

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apply

show examples

students

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have to learn the way to interact with other people in working place. Without those

experiece

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experience

experiences

, they could have

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show examples

hard time to adjust

real world

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real-world

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society.

For example

Linking Words

, I read an article that highlighted the fact that companies prefer to hire

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

enployee

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employees

who have plenty of

working

Replace the word

work

show examples

experience

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than

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

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do not

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apply

show examples

since they want

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

new

member

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members

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who are socialized enough.

In other words

Linking Words

students

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who have various working

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experience

Fix the agreement mistake

experiences

show examples

could get

chance

Correct article usage

a chance

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to be hired

than

Correct quantifier usage

more than

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others.

Secondly

Linking Words

students

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had to know the value of

money

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. Nowadays, many teenagers

received

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

money

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from their parents. They do not know how hard their parents worked to earn

money

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. So they easily waste

money

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For instance

Linking Words

, there is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

research that the teen who

earn

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earns

show examples

money

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by themselves spend less

money

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Linking Words

then

Correct your spelling

than

show examples

who

Correct pronoun usage

those who

show examples

received

Wrong verb form

receive

show examples

money

Use synonyms

from their parents. It means that if they have part-time

jobs

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, they

realised

Wrong verb form

realise

show examples

how hard to earn

money

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and

changed

Wrong verb form

change

show examples

their tendency to save

money

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To sum up

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it is clear that

Linking Words

there are many advantages of having part-time

jobs

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Young-agers

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Young agers

show examples

should be raised as an adult who can stand

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show examples

their own foot. They could

inhence

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enhance

the

Change the word

their

show examples

chance of employment and stand the

ecomonic

Correct your spelling

economic

concept by having part-time

jobs

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. For these reasons, I strongly agree that having part-time

jobs

Use synonyms

is good for

students

Use synonyms

Submitted by semimama on Fri Oct 11 2024

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task achievement

Consider adding more detailed examples or evidence to support your main points. This will strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.

coherence cohesion

Review and refine sentence structures to enhance clarity and fluency. This might help in making your essay read more smoothly.

coherence cohesion

The essay introduces the topic clearly and provides a conclusion that summarizes the main points effectively.

task achievement

The writer effectively presents a clear position on the topic and maintains it throughout the essay.

9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
29
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

265 words

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Some people asert that it is good for college students to have part-time jobs. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people find it difficult to present a speech/presentation in the public. Therefore it is suggested that public speaking should be taught in schools. Do you think it is important to know how to speak well? Do you agree or disagree with the view?

Some people think that older employees contribute most to the success of a company. Others think that younger people play a more vital role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.