IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The working week should be shorter and workers should have a longer weekend. Do you agree or disagree? Give the reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience

#week #workers #weekend
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Many individuals nowadays hold a firm belief that shorter working hours should be given to employers to increase their free time on the weekend. In my point of view, I totally agree with
this
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 suggestion based on some reasons that will be explained in
this
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 essay. In
this
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 day and age, the mental health of an employee is considered a relevant thing
that is
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 directly related to the improvement of their assignment’s quality. With more leisure time,
workers
Use synonyms
 can be motivated to reduce stress, foster a positive attitude for their organization, and be more passionate about the company. To be more specific, a longer weekend can help people pursue hobbies and learn new skills
such
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 as leadership skills, communication skills,… Many studies in the USA showed that lots of people tend to be healthier and harder-working, and the rate of
staff’s
Change noun form
staff
show examples
 productivity has increased dramatically.
Secondly
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, once the
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
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 that the
workers
Use synonyms
 spend on jobs
decrease
Correct subject-verb agreement
decreases
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, the quality of their output is higher
due to
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 their
well-rested
Add a missing verb
being well-rested
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.
Moreover
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, because of the fewer working hours, the companies can reduce the employee’s salaries, which helps them to save a lot of money for training and recruiting.
For example
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, research about
a
Correct article usage
the
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 junk food system in Japan
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
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illustrated a 14% higher total income when the president decided to give the
workers
Use synonyms
 free on Saturday.
This
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 suggests that investing in employees’ well-being can lead to greater
overall
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 success for businesses.
To conclude
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, many people nowadays are facing more than 8 hours of
working
Replace the word
work
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 that
result
Correct subject-verb agreement
results
show examples
 in mental breakdowns and some disconnected relationships. So
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the most possible way to solve
this
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 should be longer spare
times
Fix the agreement mistake
time
show examples
, which brings many advantages to the
workers
Use synonyms
 and
also
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 the businesses.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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coherence
Ensure smooth transitions between paragraphs for enhanced flow of ideas.
task achievement
Provide additional specific examples to strengthen your argument.
introduction conclusion
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, framing the argument well.
supported main points
Main points are generally well-supported and explained, showing a solid grasp of the topic.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • productivity
  • burnout
  • motivation
  • mental well-being
  • work-life balance
  • job satisfaction
  • pollution levels
  • traffic congestion
  • consumer spending
  • economic implications
  • leisure and service sectors
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