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Band 3.5

The pie charts below show the selected causes of death as a percentage of all deaths of registered Indians and the total population in 1992.

The pie charts below show the selected causes of death as a percentage of all deaths of registered Indians and the total population in 1992.
#show #death #percentage #deaths #indians #population
The pie chart
illustarte
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illustrates
illustrate
 the proportion of the
factors
 of
death
 of
indians
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Indian
 people aged between 18 and 22 years old with about 19.548 total
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population. 
Overall
, the biggest
factors
 of
death
 as the chart
showen
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shown
shows
 are accidents, homicide, and other
factors
 with 44.19%, 13.91%, and 26.40%
respectivily
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respectively
. Whilst
the
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apply
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cancer, heart
desises
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diseases
desires
, and suicide
Add a missing verb
are considere
show examples
considere
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considered
consider
 the
minimual cuase
Correct your spelling
minimal causes
 of
death
.
According to
 the
char
Correct your spelling
chart
show examples
, the major factor of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
death
 in India is accidents with almost the half of chart followed by other
factors
 with almost
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 quarter.
Submitted by rashaalbalawi on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words factors, death with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • demographics
  • mortality rates
  • cardiovascular diseases
  • neoplasms (cancers)
  • chronic diseases
  • infectious diseases
  • statistical significance
  • preventable causes
  • health disparities
  • lifestyle factors
  • epidemiological data
  • public health
  • socioeconomic factors
  • medical conditions
  • healthcare access
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