There is a lot of pressure on young people today to succeed academically. As a result, some people believe that non-academic subjects, such as physical education and cookery, should be removed from the school syllabus so that children can concentrate on academic work. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Academic
succesion
has been addicted by some people in Correct your spelling
success
the
society. Many individuals claim that Correct article usage
apply
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
subjects
are not as crucial as academic ones. It is disagreed that non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
subjects
such
as cooking and mechanic skills
should Add a missing verb
be eleminated
eleminated
by universities. Correct your spelling
eliminated
This
essay, will discuss why such
skills
are important and give examples about it.
On the one hand, some people put a lot of pressue
Correct your spelling
pressure
in
their children to be the best Change preposition
on
at
class. They believe that some Change preposition
in
subjects
like cooking and physical activities are distracting kids from an important knowledge
. Remove the article
important knowledge
a piece of important knowledge
For instance
, students who want to be a
Correct article usage
apply
doctor
should Fix the agreement mistake
doctors
concetrate
on Correct your spelling
concentrate
subjects
like biology and anatomy. Therefore
, students can be elliate
in their academic future Correct your spelling
elite
instead
of wasting time learning non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
skills
.
On the other hand
, some people claim that succession is not only related to your grades at school or university. They think that a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
skills
are as value
as academic ones. Replace the word
valuable
For example
, learning a mechanic skills
since
a young age could bring Change preposition
at
a great chances
at work and help teenagers decide what speciality prefer to study in the future. Correct the article-noun agreement
a great chance
great chances
Thus
, many individuals are inspired by juveniles who know physical skills
.
To sum up
, although
community
are concentrating on their Correct article usage
the community
children
success at school and university, they should encourage them to comprehend and learn some physical aspects. It is predictable that universities and schools will focus and increase Change noun form
children's
a
Correct article usage
apply
non academic
Add a hyphen
non-academic
subjects
subjects
, since jobs
opportunities have been declining in recent years.Change the noun form
job
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, but ensure that each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. Try using linking words and phrases to build better cohesion and guide the reader through your arguments more seamlessly.
task achievement
Your task response generally covers the main points, but to strengthen your essay, provide more detailed and relevant examples. While your position is clear, adding more specific evidence could help to make your argument more compelling.
task achievement
Clarify your ideas clearly. While the essay does address the topic, there are instances where the argument could be expressed more clearly. Avoid repetition, such as the repeated mention of 'non academic skills' and 'subjects subjects,' to enhance clarity.
task achievement
You have effectively presented both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay contains a well-presented introduction and conclusion, summarizing your stance and key points effectively.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?