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Band 5.5

Some people beleive that in a city the best way to travel is by car , while other people argue that the better way of travelling is by bicycles . discuss both views and give your opinion .

#people #beleive #city #travel #car #bicycles
Whether the best way of transport is a cycle or a car is the topic of debate between many
people
 . Some
people
 consider
cars
 to be a better mode of transport
while
 others deny
this
.
Although
 the former opinion has its own benefits , I believe that cycle is a better option and has more advantages . In recent years the number of
cars
 in
cities
 has been rising each year . Many
people
 believe that in
this
 competitive era,
cars
 play a crucial role by being a more reliable mode of travelling . Where cycles take a much longer
time
 to cover a distance ,
cars
 can easily cover the same distance in much less
time
 when compared to cycles .
Due to
Change preposition
For
show examples
this
 reason, it saves
people
's
time
 which allows them to commit to some of their other
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
Moreover
 ,
people
 who work certain kinds of jobs which require them to travel always prefer using a car over
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 bicycle . In my opinion ,
people
 should consider using bicycles over
cars
 in
cities
 to avoid problems like
pollution
.
Due to
 the increased use of automobiles like
cars
 , a rise in air
pollution
as well as
 noise
pollution
 has become an issue , especially within the
cities
 .
Furthermore
 , traffic is another drawback,
consequently
, leading to the increasing number of accidents .
On the other hand
 bicycles neither cause air nor noise
pollution
 .
Also
, the impact of bicycle accidents is much less and does not cause any harm in the majority of the cases . In conclusion ,despite the factors like
cars
 can save more
time
 and are faster options,
this
 essay believes that bicycles are a better mode for travelling within the
cities
 and can be considered beneficial in the long run .
Submitted by simratkaur.10824.nps on

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relevant specific examples
To improve your essay, include more specific examples and data to support your views. This will help demonstrate a full understanding and provide stronger evidence for your arguments.
clear comprehensive ideas
Try to elaborate on your points with more detail to make them clearer and more comprehensive. This will strengthen your argument and provide a deeper insight.
logical structure
The essay displays an obvious and logical structure, making it easy for the reader to follow the argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay includes a clear introduction and conclusion, effectively outlining your stance on the topic.
supported main points
You successfully presented both sides of the argument, discussing the benefits of cars and advocating for bicycles, which contributes to a balanced discussion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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