The two pie charts show the percentage of pollutants entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

#two #show #percentage #pollutants #part #ocean #information #features #comparisons

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The pie charts compare data about the percentage of

ocean

Use synonyms

pollutants between 1997 and 2007 from different sources

such

Linking Words

as Air , farm

waste

Use synonyms

, industrial

waste

Use synonyms

, domestic sewage , offshore oil and marine.

Overall

Linking Words

, it is important that air pollution is the major factor for our

ocean

Use synonyms

so far

while

Linking Words

reduced by %1 in 2007 only ; second , sewage rose modestly more than %40 in 10 years which gives us a red alert for our water quality in the near future; another notable point that litter was 0 impact for the

ocean

Use synonyms

in 2007 when it was %4 in 1997;

moreover

Linking Words

, Offshore oil were increased by almost 3x and reach to the peak by %14;

on the other hand

Linking Words

, the industrial

waste

Use synonyms

has been decreased more than twice within 10 years and get the lowest percentage at 9 ;

similarly

Linking Words

, marine

also

Linking Words

was less effect in 2007 compare to 1970 by %5. In conclusion, by

summing

Replace the word

sum

show examples

up these points air pollution and sewage were the main reasons for

ocean

Use synonyms

pollutants and our earth

while

Linking Words

farm

waste

Use synonyms

, litter , and marine had less impact in 2007 which is great news for our

ocean

Use synonyms

Submitted by no123fm on Fri Oct 11 2024

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words ocean, waste with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "compare" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

197 words

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The two pie charts show the percentage of pollutants entering a particular part of ocean in 1997 and 2007. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later and it is often argued that these are the best people to talk to teenagers about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Some museum charge entry fees while others have free entry. Do you think the advantages of charging an entry fee outweight the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your own knowledge or experiences.

Public transport is essential but problematic. Describe some of the problems connected to public transport and suggest some solutions.

Some say that music, art and drama are as important as other school subjects, especially at the primary level. Do you agree or disagree?