Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?
A lot of packed food and
drink
products
contain a large amount of sugar
, by consuming this
much amount of sugar
will lead to poor health. Increasing the price of sugar
-containing products
helps people
to consume low sugar
. I partially agree with the statement, because this
way helps people
to shift towards cheap healthy food options like green vegetables and fruits, whereas
we can't much
control anyone's habit of eating sweet foods.
In the market, if Correct quantifier usage
apply
sugar
-containing products
are available at high prices automatically people
will buy sugar
-free low priced products
because of their tight budgets. Increasing the taxes on sugar
items with
forced the manufacturers to sell these Change preposition
apply
productsproduct
at Correct your spelling
products product
a high prices
. Correct the article-noun agreement
a high price
high prices
For example
: countries like the USA have a
heavy taxes on Correct article usage
apply
sugar
drinks, which will motivate the individuals to purchase fruit juice which contains no sugar
.
On the other hand
, it is not possible to stop someone's habit of eating sugar
. Some people
have a habit of eating sweets which can't be controlled by simply increasing prices. For example
: On Redbull energy drink
it it
mention "Correct pronoun usage
apply
This
drink
contains 40% of
Change preposition
apply
sugar
" still
Capitalize word
Still
people
are buying and drinking these kinds of expensive drink
. The only way to encourage Fix the agreement mistake
drinks
this
type of people
by
explaining Add a missing verb
is by
them
healthy Change preposition
to them
people
like heart attacks which are caused by high sugar
consumption.
In conclusion, it depend
on person to person if someone is on a tight budget they will shift toward cheap healthier options, Change the verb form
depends
whereas
we can't control anyone's willingness to get sugar
if they want to eat and drink
sugar
products
they will pay extra.Submitted by merujain2221 on
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task response
Enhance your essay by elaborating on examples. Instead of just mentioning that the USA has heavy taxes on sugary drinks, provide more context or data to support the impact this taxation has had on consumer behavior.
coherence cohesion
Work on your coherence by ensuring each paragraph has a clearly defined topic sentence that guides the reader through your arguments. This will strengthen your logical structure and make your essay easier to follow.
task response
There is a clear introduction and conclusion, which creates a complete response structure.
task response
The essay presents a balanced view, showing understanding of multiple perspectives on the issue, which fulfills the task requirement well.
coherence cohesion
The use of examples such as taxation in the USA and Redbull energy drinks supports your arguments and demonstrates relevance to the topic.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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