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Band 1.5

The illustrations below represents the process by which bricks are manufactured for the building industry.

#illustrations #process #bricks #industry
The illustrations below
represents
Change the verb form
represent
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 the process by which
bricks
 are manufactured for the building industry.
Overall
,in
this
 picture the process consists of 7 steps,
first
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the first
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 step
is grab
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is to grab
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 the clay with
digger
Add an article
a digger
the digger
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 and the
last
 step is
ready
Change preposition
to ready
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 product
being delivered
Verb problem
apply
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. First of all,clay is grabbed by a digger. Second of all,when clay is filtered out by
metal
Correct article usage
a metal
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 grid,
sand+
Correct your spelling
sand
water
Correct word choice
and water
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 added,we have two ways of giving shape to
bricks
 with wire cutter or with mould.Even though it is made
by
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in
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 two ways,
bricks
Correct article usage
the bricks
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 are come out
identical
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identically
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,
then
 they were in a drying oven for 24-28 hours,
also
 after drying oven
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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were in two
kiln
Change to a plural noun
kilns
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with
Change preposition
at
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 moderate(200C-980C) and high(870C-1300C)
temperature
Fix the agreement mistake
temperatures
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then
bricks
 were in
Correct article usage
a coolling
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coolling
Correct your spelling
cooling
 chamber for 48-72hours. After
all
Add a comma
all,
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bricks
 are packaged and
last
 but not least
being
Verb problem
apply
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delivered
Submitted by dnm.best on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure each step of the process is clearly explained with appropriate transitions between them. This will improve the coherence and flow of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear introductory sentence in your essay previewing the process or the steps involved. A conclusion summarizing the process is also beneficial for overall cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Break down the tasks into smaller steps where necessary to ensure clarity in your description. Use phrases like 'next', 'then', or 'following' to maintain a logical flow.
task achievement
In the task response, aim to describe more sophisticated details or variations within the steps of brick manufacturing to show a deeper understanding of the process.
task achievement
The overall process has been well captured, covering all the essential steps from the initial clay digging to the delivery of the finished product.
task achievement
You have clearly outlined each stage of brick manufacture which assists in maintaining a comprehensive view of the process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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