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Band 2.5

The scheme below represents the process of brick manufacturing for the building industry.

#scheme #process #brick #industry
The scheme below represents the process of
brick
Add an article
the brick
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 manufacturing industry. At
first,
the clay is
digged
Correct your spelling
dug
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 up with a digger. After that, it is carried to
metal
Correct article usage
a metal
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 grid to sift on the roller and to
sifted
Wrong verb form
sift
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 clay we add sand and water. From
this
, with
help
Correct article usage
the help
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 of wire cutters or
moulds
Add a comma
moulds,
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 we got
bricks
.
Subsequently
, half-done
bricks
carried
Add a missing verb
are carried
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 to
drying
Correct article usage
the drying
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 oven for 24-48 hours.
Consequently
, dried
bricks
putted
Correct your spelling
put
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 into
kiln
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the kiln
a kiln
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. At
first,
kiln
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the kiln
a kiln
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 is on moderate temperature between 200
°C
 - 980
°C
,
then
 we increase the temperature to high 870
°C
 - 1300
°C
. After that,
bricks
cooled
Add a missing verb
were cooled
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 with a cooling chamber for 48 - 72 hours.
As a result
, ready
bricks
packed
Add a missing verb
are packed
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 and sent to delivery. The
bricks
 are
strong-maded
Correct your spelling
strong-made
strong-minded
 and sustainable because of drying, heating and cooling processes. Now, we can use
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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bricks
 to build different buildings.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Grammar
Try refining your sentence structures for better grammatical accuracy. For instance, 'digged up' should be 'dug up,' and 'putted' should be 'put.'
Introduction
Consider making the introduction clearer by directly stating the main stages. For example, 'The process of brick manufacturing involves several key stages, including...'
Conclusion
Conclude with a summary that encapsulates the entire process described.
Comprehensiveness
Your essay clearly describes the brick manufacturing process step by step, which is crucial for task achievement.
Logical Flow
You've done well in logically ordering the steps of the process. This helps the reader follow along easily.
Specificity
The inclusion of temperature ranges during the heating process shows good attention to detail.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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