IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

#company #factory #community #influence #support #position
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It is a common belief that generally big factories make several types of pollutants which bring negative impact to society so should avoid to build it close to my area.
In contrast
Linking Words
, Some
peoples
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people
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 think that the huge
factory
Use synonyms
 creates positive results in
economy
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the economy
an economy
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 which
allow
Correct subject-verb agreement
allows
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 to overcome other negative aspects. there is no
difinitive
Correct your spelling
definitive
 right or wrong answer, but I find the latter argument more persuasive. On the one hand, It is true that a
factory
Use synonyms
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
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 lots of pollutants,
such
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 as noise, air pollutants, waste and contaminated water. These are likely to impact
to
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apply
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local residents's health.
For example
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,
some times
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sometimes
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, the by-produced rubbishes sneak into the
canel
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canal
, and contaminate the water,
This
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cause
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causes
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 the
reduce
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reduction
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 the local food sources,
fishes
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fish
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. crabs and water, and ruin their communities.
On the other hand
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, It is evident that once a large
factory
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 is established, It
contribute
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contributes
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the
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to the
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 growth of
local
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the local
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 economy.
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Due to the
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The
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 large
factory
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 not only
creats
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creates
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
local occupation
opportunity
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opportunities
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 but
also
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 brings other workers from other regions.
This
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are
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is
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 likely
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to creats
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creats
Correct your spelling
creates
create
 more income
to
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for
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 local businesses, as the commuting
labors
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labourers
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 spend money in
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this
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apply
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local
store
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stores
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such
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 as restaurants, and cafes. In conclusion, Even though the question of
establishig
Correct your spelling
establishing
 a large
manufacuring
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manufacturing
 building near my residence can be controversial as there are both cons and pros. It is apparent that the
factory
Use synonyms
 generates many
evnironmental
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environmental
inconvenience
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inconveniences
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.
Nevertheless
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, I personally believe that there are more positive outcomes to
build
Wrong verb form
building
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 a big organization near my
residece
Correct your spelling
residence
such
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 as
Add an article
the opportunity
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opportunity
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opportunities
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of
Change preposition
for
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 jobs and growth of local markets
Submitted by yhj000801 on

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task achievement
Your essay presents a clear argument, but it can be beneficial to articulate your points more explicitly. Be sure to link each advantage and disadvantage directly to your final position for better task achievement.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph logically flows from one point to the next. You might consider using more linking words and phrases to improve overall coherence and cohesion.
task achievement
You should clarify some of your points with more detailed and relevant examples that clearly illustrate your perspective.
language use
Review some English language rules, as there are grammatical errors that slightly affect the clarity of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Your essay includes an introduction and conclusion, framing the discussion well, which contributes positively to cohesion.
task achievement
Despite some inaccuracies, you've addressed both sides of the argument, which is fundamental for a balanced response.
coherence cohesion
You've made a clear attempt to weigh advantages against disadvantages, demonstrating good organizational skills.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic growth
  • infrastructure development
  • local businesses
  • unemployment rates
  • pollution
  • residents' health
  • noise and traffic congestion
  • social tensions
  • community dynamics
  • boost the local economy
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