Somez people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

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Some people think that the
government
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should invest more
money
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to improve
sports
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facilities
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for top athletes. Others believe that the
government
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should spend
money
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to increase
sports
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facilities
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for the general public. I personally believe that
while
Linking Words
spending
money
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for
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athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
improve their performances in international competitions, the
government
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should spend
money
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on
sports
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facilities
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for the public to improve public
health
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. Investing
money
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in
sports
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facilities
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improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
the performances of top
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athlates
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athletes
in international competitions. If the
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athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
get guidance, training, and exercise
equipments
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equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, it prepares them for international
sports
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.
Consequently
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, they win prizes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international competitions
,
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apply
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and bring fame
for
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to
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the country.
For example
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,
Australian
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the Australian
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government
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invests around 1 billion dollars every year in
sports
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facilities
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, and in the Olympic games, Australian
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athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
bring prizes.
However
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, I believe that the
government
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should spend
money
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on
sports
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facilities
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for the general public because it improves public
health
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. Spending
money
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on
sports
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facilities
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improves public
health
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. If the
government
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spend
money
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to improve
sports
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facilities
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,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
enough opportunity to take part in
sports
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. As physical exercise is essential to improve
health
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, public
health
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improves. The public will be encouraged to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in
sports
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activities, and it will keep them fit and healthy.
For instance
Linking Words
, the
government
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of Bangladesh invests a lot of
money
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in
sports
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facilities
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.
This
Linking Words
encourages the public to take part in
athlatics
Correct your spelling
athletics
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I personally believe that the
government
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should invest in
sports
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facilities
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for the public. In conclusion, the
government
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should spend
money
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on
sports
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facilities
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because it improves public
health
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. The
government
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should spend
money
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on improving the
facilities
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of
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athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
to bring international prizes and fame.

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task achievement
Focus on maintaining consistent language, such as correcting 'athlates' to 'athletes,' which appears multiple times in the essay. These minor errors slightly affect the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop each paragraph with clear and logical connections. Use more linking words to transition between ideas smoothly to enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay clearly introduces the topic and presents a balanced discussion about investment in sports facilities for top athletes versus the general public.
supported main points
Good use of examples, like those about Australia and Bangladesh, effectively support the main arguments.
task achievement
Provides a clear opinion that is revisited throughout the essay, maintaining focus on the central argument.
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