Somez people think that governments should spend more money on sports facilities for top athletes. Others argue that this money should be spent on sports facilities for ordinary people. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Some people think that the
government
should invest more
money
to improve
sports
facilities
for top athletes. Others believe that the
government
should spend
money
to increase
sports
facilities
for the general public. I personally believe that
while
spending
money
for
athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
improve their performances in international competitions, the
government
should spend
money
on
sports
facilities
for the public to improve public
health
. Investing
money
in
sports
facilities
improve
Correct subject-verb agreement
improves
show examples
the performances of top
athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
in international competitions. If the
athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
get guidance, training, and exercise
equipments
Change the wording
equipment
types of equipment
pieces of equipment
show examples
, it prepares them for international
sports
.
Consequently
, they win prizes in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
international competitions
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and bring fame
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
the country.
For example
,
Australian
Correct article usage
the Australian
show examples
government
invests around 1 billion dollars every year in
sports
facilities
, and in the Olympic games, Australian
athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
bring prizes.
However
, I believe that the
government
should spend
money
on
sports
facilities
for the general public because it improves public
health
. Spending
money
on
sports
facilities
improves public
health
. If the
government
spend
money
to improve
sports
facilities
,
public
Correct article usage
the public
show examples
get
Correct subject-verb agreement
gets
show examples
enough opportunity to take part in
sports
. As physical exercise is essential to improve
health
, public
health
improves. The public will be encouraged to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
in
sports
activities, and it will keep them fit and healthy.
For instance
, the
government
of Bangladesh invests a lot of
money
in
sports
facilities
.
This
encourages the public to take part in
athlatics
Correct your spelling
athletics
.
Therefore
, I personally believe that the
government
should invest in
sports
facilities
for the public. In conclusion, the
government
should spend
money
on
sports
facilities
because it improves public
health
. The
government
should spend
money
on improving the
facilities
of
athlates
Correct your spelling
athletes
to bring international prizes and fame.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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task achievement
Focus on maintaining consistent language, such as correcting 'athlates' to 'athletes,' which appears multiple times in the essay. These minor errors slightly affect the overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Try to develop each paragraph with clear and logical connections. Use more linking words to transition between ideas smoothly to enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion present
The essay clearly introduces the topic and presents a balanced discussion about investment in sports facilities for top athletes versus the general public.
supported main points
Good use of examples, like those about Australia and Bangladesh, effectively support the main arguments.
task achievement
Provides a clear opinion that is revisited throughout the essay, maintaining focus on the central argument.
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