It is important for children to learn the difference between right and wrong at an early age. Punishment is necessary to help them learn this distinction. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion? What sort of punishment should parents and teachers be allowed to use to teach good behavior to children?

#children #difference #right #age #punishment #distinction #sort #parents #teachers #behavior

It is a controversial debate over whether can parents and teachers punish

children

when teaching those who make mistakes. From my perspective,

punishment

is necessary to assist adults

to help

Change preposition

in helping

show examples

kids

to distinguish the difference between right and wrong.

However

, the

way

it takes is

also

a significant topic.

Kids

may do something wrong in the process of growth

due to

the

uncomplete

Correct your spelling

incomplete

show examples

development of

brain

Correct article usage

the brain

show examples

and

Correct article usage

the recognization

show examples

recognization

Correct your spelling

recognition

show examples

system.

Therefore

, it is inevitable to have to correct their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

;

however

, sometimes merely scolding doesn't work and

children

possibly forget it right after they are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

reminded.

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

result,

punishment

should be imposed on them. As for which kind of treatment is needed, in my opinion, it should be letting them do the same thing in

accurate

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an accurate

show examples

way

and make up for those

have

Correct pronoun usage

who have

show examples

been hurt by them. It might be ambiguous.

For example

, if

children

hit others just because other people disagree with their statement, the first step parents and teachers have to take is not to scold

Change preposition

apply

show examples

them but tell them the right

way

to react by telling them that discussing or

reinforing

Correct your spelling

reinforcing

informing

their though is the best

way

, because there's no one in the world

shold

Correct your spelling

should

follow them. After making them

realizing

Wrong verb form

realise

show examples

that they did something wrong,

the next step is

to let them

konw

Correct your spelling

know

what or whom have been harmed by them. Apology and some

compensations

Fix the agreement mistake

compensation

show examples

should be implemented, without those actions,

kids

can never

known

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know

be known

show examples

what they did

have

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

caused lots of negative

effect

Change to a plural noun

effects

show examples

. In another aspect,

although

I consider

punishment

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

necessary, I don't agree with physical

punishment

, which can only

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

kids

feel

painful

Replace the word

pain

show examples

and even make them get injured but

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with no

show examples

efficincy

Correct your spelling

efficiency

. It can only cover

children

with shades, contributing no assistance to correction. Some

kids

may

thus

go to the extreme side, causing tragedies. In conclusion,

punishment

is an effective

way

to educate

children

if using it precisely. But it will be dangerous if

punishment

is so tough or harsh. Only by intermediate

way

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

children

can learn a lesson from the experience.

Submitted by n6160978224716 on Sat Oct 12 2024

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task achievement

The essay presents a clear position regarding the necessity of punishment for children; however, it lacks depth in exploring alternative perspectives. Consider discussing the potential effects of positive reinforcement compared to punitive measures, which might enrich the argument.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are clear and present, but the essay could benefit from more cohesive transitions between ideas and paragraphs. Using linking words and signposting phrases can help guide the reader through your argument more smoothly.

task achievement

Specific examples are lacking in clarity and might not fully illustrate your points. Aim to provide concrete examples that directly relate to the main argument, potentially drawing from real-life situations or studies to strengthen your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Some sentences lack clarity due to typographical errors and could be simplified for better comprehension. Re-reading your essay carefully or reading aloud might help identify areas needing rephrasing or correction.

task achievement

The essay successfully identifies and acknowledges a controversial issue regarding punishment in education, which sets a strong foundation for discussion.

task achievement

The author wisely rejects physical punishment, arguing for a more corrective and developmental approach, which adds a thoughtful perspective to the debate.

coherence and cohesion

The essay maintains an effectively structured beginning and end, affirming the main point with a logical progression toward a conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

343 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Moral development
Positive reinforcement
Negative reinforcement
Behavioral psychology
Disciplinary methods
Corporal punishment
Psychological effects
Authoritative parenting
Permissive parenting
Behavioural correction
Ethical considerations
Legal frameworks
Cognitive development
Social norms
Character building
Restorative practices
Authoritarian approach
Constructive criticism
Pro-social behavior
Conditioning

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Fully explain your ideas

in many countries today, if people want to find a job , they have to move away from their friends and their families. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people say that now we can see films on our phones or tablets there is no need to go to the cinema. Other say that to be fully enjoyed, films need to be seen in a cinema.

Modern technology is now very common in most work places. How do you think this has changed the way we work? Do you think there are disadvantages to relying too much on technology?

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of parents who are choosing to edcuate their children themselves at home instead of sending them to school. Do the advantages of home education outweigh the disadvantages?

Please elaborate on your current physical and mental health, including any dental or oral treatment, medical interventions, and mental health therapy or counseling.