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Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that politicians have the greatest influences on the world, but other people believe that the scientist have the greatest influences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#people #politicians #influences #world #scientist
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Some individuals
contendt
Correct your spelling
contend
content
contends
 that
politicians
Use synonyms
 hold the ultimate power in the world,
while
Linking Words
 others think that scientists hold the greatest sway.
This
Linking Words
 topic is quite controversial among citizens, as both sides have anti-movements that are protesting against each other daily
due to
Linking Words
 not agreeing with each other based on their views.
The scientists
Correct article usage
Scientists
show examples
 always tell you what is
reality
Add an article
the reality
a reality
show examples
 of a situation is,
while
Linking Words
politicians
Use synonyms
 will tell
what
Correct pronoun usage
you what
show examples
 the majority of the
people
Use synonyms
 want to hear. The reality is not cruel all the time, but
people
Use synonyms
 usually get frightened when they get hit by the honest truth, that the
politicians
Use synonyms
 tried to conceal.
Scientist
Fix the agreement mistake
Scientists
show examples
 are one of the rarest and smartest
people
Use synonyms
 on the planet with the highest level of IQ that considerably "normal"
people
Use synonyms
 cannot comprehend.
Therefore
Linking Words
 a lot of time scientists
are not understand
Change the verb form
are not understood
show examples
 by society,and that's why
politicians
Use synonyms
 have more influence in our world. A certain individual can only have power if
people
Use synonyms
 believe in them, so that's why
politicians
Use synonyms
 are so persuasive and believable because they only tell us what we want to hear, not what is the reality. They make rules that
favor
Change the spelling
favour
show examples
 them and rules that will win
people
Use synonyms
 over. That's why
politicians
Use synonyms
 have the greatest influence in the world
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
they can decode the scientific facts that we can understand and win us over. In my opinion, we need
people
Use synonyms
 who can control us and our country, so that we
wont
Add an apostrophe
won't
show examples
 turn against each other.
Submitted by padosdorka2006 on

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content
Ensure that each argument is well-supported with specific examples or evidence. This will strengthen your points and make your argument more persuasive.
structure
Improve coherence by ensuring each paragraph transitions smoothly into the next. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.
conclusion
Provide a clearer conclusion that summarizes the main points and firmly states your opinion on the matter.
introduction
The introduction effectively presents the topic and indicates the scope of discussion, setting up the essay well.
content
There is a clear attempt to discuss both sides of the argument which is essential for this topic type.
content
The essay acknowledges the complexity of the issue, emphasizing the importance of understanding different perspectives.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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