Some believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school Programmes (for example, working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children). To what extent do you agree or disagree

In some high schools, they made it mandatory for students to participate in community
service
such
as cleaning facilities, working in the zoo, babysitting younger children, and much more. They believe
this
will teach teenagers how to cooperate in workplaces and how to be more independent. Some individuals contend that unpaid
service
should not be compulsory in educational institutions,
while
others think that it should be a necessary thing. In my opinion,
this
should be a necessity for all students over the age of 14. It will educate them on how important it is to have an experience in workplaces, so that later in
life
when they come across a problem they will be able to solve it by
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
.
This
will increase your problem-solving familiarity, which most companies are looking for. Unpaid community
service
will
also
teach our children that
life
is not all glamorous and rich. Unfortunately, most kids are spoiled, and they don't appreciate the
life
they were given, because they were never taught the value of money. They should see that only hard work and determination will bring you
further
in
life
and not laziness and
inactiveness
Replace the word
inactivity
show examples
. Community
service
will most definitely teach them everything
that is
crucial for
life
, and the future, and it will decrease the solidness of teenagers.
Submitted by padosdorka2006 on

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task achievement
While the essay provides a response to the task, it doesn't explicitly present counterarguments, which is important for a balanced view. Try to address opposing views to strengthen your response.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body, and conclusion. However, it could benefit from more signposting words to guide the reader through the argument and paragraphs that naturally flow from one to the next.
task achievement
Instead of using vague statements like 'they don’t appreciate the life they were given,' include specific examples and evidence to support your points, which will give your argument credibility and depth.
introduction conclusion present
You have presented a clear stance and have organized your essay with a recognizable introduction and conclusion.
task achievement
Your essay includes some arguments regarding the benefits of community service, which have relevance to the task.
supported main points
The essay attempts to develop ideas and presents some valid points related to personal growth and life lessons from community service.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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