You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Most of the money
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
spent to cover the cost
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
the search for
oil
Use synonyms
. Since making
oil
Use synonyms
as one of the main
resource
Change to a plural noun
resources
show examples
is not long-lasting, it is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
recommended to labour more on new types of
energy
Use synonyms
resources,
such
Linking Words
as wind and solar. I strongly agree
to
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
statement as
this
Linking Words
will
led
Change the verb form
lead
be led
show examples
to a lot of benefits
while
Linking Words
prevent
Change the verb form
preventing
show examples
harmful effects caused by
oil
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
. First of all,
this
Linking Words
alternative way is more sustainable, since these new types of
energy
Use synonyms
are renewable and can be gained easily from
mother-nature
Correct your spelling
mother nature
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, we can simply
benefited
Change the verb form
benefit
show examples
the
Change preposition
from the
show examples
sun
Change noun form
sun's
show examples
energy
Use synonyms
, which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
provided non-stop during the day in the form of solar
energy
Use synonyms
to be absorbed by solar panels installed on top of our house's roofs as one of the main daily
energy
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
in living.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, a lot of negative effects caused by the constant
oil
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
on massive scales can be avoided by using renewable energies. Unfortunately, since
oil
Use synonyms
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
been used for many years until now by the majority of industries,
this
Linking Words
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase of greenhouse gases being released
to
Change preposition
into
show examples
the atmosphere, which
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
led to the thinning of
ozone
Add an article
the ozone
show examples
layer and
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
global warming effect on Earth.
Therefore
Linking Words
, before
this
Linking Words
got worse, a more sustainable approach needed to
be consider
Change the verb form
be considered
show examples
to change our world's faith. In conclusion, spending more money to increase the usage of renewable energies can lead towards an
enviromentally-friendly
Correct your spelling
environmentally-friendly
way to consume
energy
Use synonyms
daily. Not only that
,
Add the word(s)
, but
show examples
this
Linking Words
can
also
Linking Words
prevent any
destructions
Fix the agreement mistake
destruction
show examples
caused
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
oil
Use synonyms
consumption
Use synonyms
Submitted by alisyashazzy on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The essay does a good job in presenting a well-rounded response to the task by agreeing with the development of new energy sources like wind and solar instead of investing in oil exploration. However, consider expanding your arguments by discussing potential challenges or counterarguments and offering more detailed insights. Additionally, clarify your ideas with examples or evidence to reinforce your points of view.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. However, work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the reader’s understanding. Ensure transitions between ideas are smooth to maintain coherence throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and clearly states the writer's position on the issue in the introduction. The conclusion effectively summarizes this position, neatly wrapping up the argument.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant reasons and examples when arguing for renewable energy, which strengthens the task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: