You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.
Most of the money
were
spent to cover the cost Change the verb form
was
on
the search for Change preposition
of
oil
. Since making oil
as one of the main resource
is not long-lasting, it is Change to a plural noun
resources
more
recommended to labour more on new types of Correct quantifier usage
apply
energy
resources, such
as wind and solar. I strongly agree to
Change preposition
with
this
statement as this
will led
to a lot of benefits Change the verb form
lead
be led
while
prevent
harmful effects caused by Change the verb form
preventing
oil
consumption
.
First of all, this
alternative way is more sustainable, since these new types of energy
are renewable and can be gained easily from mother-nature
. Correct your spelling
mother nature
For example
, we can simply benefited
Change the verb form
benefit
the
Change preposition
from the
sun
Change noun form
sun's
energy
, which are
provided non-stop during the day in the form of solar Change the verb form
is
energy
to be absorbed by solar panels installed on top of our house's roofs as one of the main daily energy
consumption
in living.
Furthermore
, a lot of negative effects caused by the constant oil
consumption
on massive scales can be avoided by using renewable energies. Unfortunately, since oil
had
been used for many years until now by the majority of industries, Wrong verb form
has
this
had
Wrong verb form
has
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
to
Change preposition
apply
the
increase of greenhouse gases being released Correct article usage
an
to
the atmosphere, which Change preposition
into
had
led to the thinning of Wrong verb form
has
ozone
layer and Add an article
the ozone
causes
global warming effect on Earth. Wrong verb form
caused
Therefore
, before this
got worse, a more sustainable approach needed to be consider
to change our world's faith.
In conclusion, spending more money to increase the usage of renewable energies can lead towards an Change the verb form
be considered
enviromentally-friendly
way to consume Correct your spelling
environmentally-friendly
energy
daily. Not only that,
Add the word(s)
, but
this
can also
prevent any destructions
caused Fix the agreement mistake
destruction
from
the Change preposition
by
oil
consumption
Submitted by alisyashazzy on
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task achievement
The essay does a good job in presenting a well-rounded response to the task by agreeing with the development of new energy sources like wind and solar instead of investing in oil exploration. However, consider expanding your arguments by discussing potential challenges or counterarguments and offering more detailed insights. Additionally, clarify your ideas with examples or evidence to reinforce your points of view.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. However, work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the reader’s understanding. Ensure transitions between ideas are smooth to maintain coherence throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and clearly states the writer's position on the issue in the introduction. The conclusion effectively summarizes this position, neatly wrapping up the argument.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant reasons and examples when arguing for renewable energy, which strengthens the task response.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.