You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: A lot of money is spent nowadays searching for oil. As the world's oil resources will eventually run out, it would be more logical to spend some of this money on developing new sources of power, such as wind and solar. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience. Write at least 250 words.

Most of the money
were
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was
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spent to cover the cost
on
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of
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the search for
oil
. Since making
oil
as one of the main
resource
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resources
show examples
is not long-lasting, it is
more
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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recommended to labour more on new types of
energy
resources,
such
as wind and solar. I strongly agree
to
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with
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this
statement as
this
will
led
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lead
be led
show examples
to a lot of benefits
while
prevent
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preventing
show examples
harmful effects caused by
oil
consumption
. First of all,
this
alternative way is more sustainable, since these new types of
energy
are renewable and can be gained easily from
mother-nature
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mother nature
show examples
.
For example
, we can simply
benefited
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benefit
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the
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from the
show examples
sun
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sun's
show examples
energy
, which
are
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is
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provided non-stop during the day in the form of solar
energy
to be absorbed by solar panels installed on top of our house's roofs as one of the main daily
energy
consumption
in living.
Furthermore
, a lot of negative effects caused by the constant
oil
consumption
on massive scales can be avoided by using renewable energies. Unfortunately, since
oil
had
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has
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been used for many years until now by the majority of industries,
this
had
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has
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cause
Wrong verb form
caused
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to
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apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
increase of greenhouse gases being released
to
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into
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the atmosphere, which
had
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has
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led to the thinning of
ozone
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the ozone
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layer and
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
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global warming effect on Earth.
Therefore
, before
this
got worse, a more sustainable approach needed to
be consider
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be considered
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to change our world's faith. In conclusion, spending more money to increase the usage of renewable energies can lead towards an
enviromentally-friendly
Correct your spelling
environmentally-friendly
way to consume
energy
daily. Not only that
,
Add the word(s)
, but
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this
can
also
prevent any
destructions
Fix the agreement mistake
destruction
show examples
caused
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
the
oil
consumption
Submitted by alisyashazzy on

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task achievement
The essay does a good job in presenting a well-rounded response to the task by agreeing with the development of new energy sources like wind and solar instead of investing in oil exploration. However, consider expanding your arguments by discussing potential challenges or counterarguments and offering more detailed insights. Additionally, clarify your ideas with examples or evidence to reinforce your points of view.
coherence cohesion
The essay is structured logically with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a concise conclusion. However, work on the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to enhance the reader’s understanding. Ensure transitions between ideas are smooth to maintain coherence throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay effectively introduces the topic and clearly states the writer's position on the issue in the introduction. The conclusion effectively summarizes this position, neatly wrapping up the argument.
task achievement
The essay presents relevant reasons and examples when arguing for renewable energy, which strengthens the task response.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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