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Parents should be punished fort he crimes of their children. To what extend do you agree?

#parents #fort #crimes #children
Nowadays some people believe that
parents
 should be held guilty for every crime their
children
 commit.
This
 essay will
defense
Replace the word
defend
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this
assesment
Correct your spelling
assessment
 with two main reasons. From infancy to adolescence,
Children
 tend to do what they see their
parents
 do. They try to use the same words
what
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 their
parents
 use
while
 they are speaking with them or the others. It is the same for movements, behaviours etc. Prof. David Sunflower who is working as
Correct article usage
a pycologist
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pycologist
Correct your spelling
psychologist
 for
the
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apply
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Colorado
university
Capitalize word
University
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have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 an important study about
this
. He
choose
Wrong verb form
chose
show examples
 150
prisoner
Change to a plural noun
prisoners
show examples
 and
nvestigated
Correct your spelling
investigated
investigate
 how many of them had a parent with a criminal record. The results were not surprising. 148 of these
prisioners
Correct your spelling
prisoners
 had a mother or/and a father who had been convicted at least once. The number of
parents
 who really care about what their
children
 do is not many.
Especialy
Correct your spelling
Especially
 after the
children
 start their
educationn
Correct your spelling
education
 life the
parents
 stop paying attention to their
children
 because they are constantly studying or involved in school activities. In the second part of the study of Prof. David
Correct your spelling
Sunflower
Suunflower
Add a comma
Suunflower,
show examples
 it is seen that all the
participant
Fix the agreement mistake
participants
show examples
 had a poor relationship with their
parents
intheir
Correct your spelling
in their
 youth. In Conclusion,
parents
 should be responsible and judged for the crimes of their
children
 because the
children
 copy what their
parents
 do and the
parents
 should more care and check what their
children
 do.
Submitted by e.yildizhundur on

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Coherence & Paragraph Cohesion
Your essay is generally clear, but consider refining your arguments for better coherence. Ensure that each point logically leads to the next to maintain the reader's attention.
Task Achievement
Develop your main points more thoroughly with additional support or examples. You can reference a wider variety of studies or real-world examples to strengthen your arguments.
General Advice
Make sure to proofread for small errors in spelling and grammar to enhance your credibility and make the essay easier to read.
Introduction & Conclusion
You present a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the essay effectively.
Relevant Examples
The use of a specific study adds credibility and a concrete example to your argument.
Task Fulfillment
Your essay addresses both the question prompt and related issues, showing an understanding of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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