Some companies sponsor sports as away to advertise themselves. Some people think it is good, while others think there are disadvantages to this. discuss boyh sides and give your opinion.

A considerable amount of Individual thinks that marketing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
products through
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
beneficial for the company and
other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
show examples
opines
Correct subject-verb agreement
opine
show examples
that
its
Change the pronoun
it
show examples
is unfair.
According to
me,
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
are important and beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
companies and
audience
Fix the agreement mistake
audiences
show examples
but
it
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
can be
risk
Replace the word
risky
show examples
for negative publicity and backlash.
Advertiesments
Correct your spelling
Advertisements
can enhance brand exposure and
visibilities
Replace the word
visibility
show examples
. If a
Sportperson
Correct your spelling
Sportspersons
Sportsperson
do marketing for
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
healthy food company it can boost farming.
for example
, Virat Kohli is the best Cricket player in India. Everyone loves him and he marketing for breast cancer donation and awareness organization. He influenced
youngones
Correct your spelling
young ones
about cancer and its
preventions
Fix the agreement mistake
prevention
show examples
. It
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
people
to understand
about
Change preposition
apply
show examples
today's health issues and
also
,
about
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apply
show examples
how to stop these diseases. It
stimulate
Change the verb form
stimulates
show examples
econimic
Correct your spelling
economic
growth for
sports
.
People
follows
Change the verb form
follow
show examples
him and do exercise and play some
sports
to keep themselves healthy.
Advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
Advertisements
show examples
through
sports
support local communities and athletes. In today's
Scenario
Add a comma
Scenario,
show examples
80%
people
Change preposition
of people
show examples
follow
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
diet and
excercise
Correct your spelling
exercise
which
boost
Correct subject-verb agreement
boosts
show examples
farming without pesticides. In conclusion,
advertiesment
Correct your spelling
advertising
is
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
oppertunity
Correct your spelling
opportunity
for
sports
Correct article usage
the sports
show examples
industries
Fix the agreement mistake
industry
show examples
and for
Correct article usage
the company
show examples
company
Change noun form
company's
show examples
financial growth but it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
small
business
Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
show examples
and the audience to blindly trust the advertisement.
people
need to know more about products and fair options.
Submitted by jasneets712 on

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coherence cohesion
Try to use linking words to connect ideas within paragraphs, which will enhance the logical flow. For instance, words like 'furthermore', 'moreover', and 'as a result' can help connect and transition between ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer and more structured introduction and conclusion. Your introduction should succinctly present both sides of the argument and your conclusion should summarize the main points discussed while clearly stating your opinion.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations or examples. For instance, when discussing the economic benefits, include more specific details about how companies and sports benefit financially.
task achievement
Make sure to address both sides of the argument more equally. The view against sponsorship is mentioned briefly but could be further developed and supported with examples or reasons.
task achievement
Ensure the ideas are clear and logical. Each paragraph should ideally start with a topic sentence that indicates the main idea.
task achievement
The essay provides relevant examples; mentioning Virat Kohli's influence in advertising and its impact is a good illustration of the idea.
coherence cohesion
You've concluded the essay well by summarizing the benefits and potential pitfalls of advertising in sports.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sponsor
  • advertise
  • brand exposure
  • visibility
  • brand image
  • reputation
  • targeted marketing
  • product placement
  • endorsement
  • support
  • community
  • athletes
  • economic growth
  • oversaturation
  • commercialization
  • unfair advantage
  • financially stronger
  • ethical concerns
  • influence
  • diversion of funds
  • negative publicity
  • backlash
  • beneficial
  • overall
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