IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people think that increasing business and cultural contacts between countries is a positive development. However, others believe that these are leading to the loss of national identities. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

#people #business #contacts #countries #development #loss #identities
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Many people believe that
business
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 and cultural contacts between
countries
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is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 positive,
while
Linking Words
 others believe that
countries
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loss
Replace the word
lose
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 their national identities because of
globalization
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. I personally believe that
while
Linking Words
 cultural and
business
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 contacts between
countries
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 do not let
countries
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celebrating
Wrong verb form
celebrate
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 their
traditions
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, it is a positive development because
countries
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 can protect each
in
Change preposition
apply
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others'
Change noun form
other's
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traditions
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 and culture. Exchanging
cultures
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 and
business
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 between
countries
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 helps to protect
countries
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. Exchanging cultural norms and
business
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 between
countries
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called
Add a missing verb
is called
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globalization
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, and
globalization
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 makes a strong bond between
countries
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.
Globalization
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 helps one country to come forward to protect the
cultures
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 of different
countries
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.
For example
Linking Words
, the USA and Canada
has
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have
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 signed a treaty of sharing their
cultures
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 and
business
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, and that
also
Linking Words
 helps to share their
cultures
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 and
traditions
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I personally believe that sharing
cultures
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 and
business
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 between
countries
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 helps to protect
cultures
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.
On the contrary
Linking Words
, sharing culture and
business
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 between
countries
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restrict
Correct subject-verb agreement
restricts
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 preserving their own
cultures
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 and
business
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. If
countries
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 focus on
globalization
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, they will not become interested in preserving their
cultures
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. They forget to practice their cultural norms and
traditions
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.
For example
Linking Words
, after exchanging
cultures
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 and
business
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 between India and Nepal, the young generations of
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
countries
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do
Verb problem
are
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 not interested in preserving their own
cultures
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.
However
Linking Words
, I personally believe exchanging
cultures
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 and
business
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 is more appropriate in today's era than following national
traditions
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 and
cultures
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. In conclusion, sharing
business
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 and
cultures
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 between
countries
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 helps to protect
countries
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.
However
Linking Words
, it restricts
practicing
Change the spelling
practising
show examples
 national
cultures
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 and
traditions
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rahman_rehana on

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coherence cohesion
Enhance the logical flow between ideas. Consider using clear transitional phrases to help link paragraphs more effectively.
task achievement
Provide more comprehensive examples to support points, particularly in the second body paragraph.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present and effectively summarize the topic and arguments.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which demonstrates an understanding of the task prompt.
task achievement
Attempts are made to support main points with examples, indicating understanding of the topic's dimensions.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • globalization
  • economic growth
  • living standards
  • cultural understanding
  • homogenization
  • national identities
  • preservation
  • cultural heritage
  • balancing
  • embrace
  • opportunities
  • respecting
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