Some people think that the Olympic Games is an exciting event and can bring nations together. Others, however, think that it is a waste of money. Discuss both these views and give your own opinio
Some
people
believe that Olympic
Games
which excite most people
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
a
significant importance Remove the article
apply
to get
Change preposition
in getting
people
together while
the
others think it is an unnecessary organization where Correct article usage
apply
money
is wasted.
This
essay will demonstrate both sides. While
acknowledging that the budget is huge for this
event
I certainly think it is an
Correct article usage
a
usefull
way to bring Correct your spelling
useful
people
together.
On the one hand
the budget should be big enough for Add a comma
hand,
event
advertisements, providing accommodation for athletes etc. Most people
think that the many should be use
for global issues like global warming or Change the verb form
be used
starving
problems. Replace the word
starvation
According to
BBC Add a comma
news,
news
the Capitalize word
News
money
used for the 2022 Olympic
Games
is more than ten thousand dolars
. Ten million Correct your spelling
dollars
tree
will Fix the agreement mistake
trees
be plant
with Change the verb form
be planted
this
money
.
On the other hand
, during the Olympic
Games
everyone around the world only Add a comma
Games,
watch
Change the verb form
watches
this
event
and talk
about it. Correct subject-verb agreement
talks
People
have a common topics
to talk about and it brings them together to watch Correct the article-noun agreement
common topics
a common topic
this
event
. They congratulate each other about
the nation's success and it helps to start new friendships. Change preposition
on
For instance
, one of my friend
met five foreign Change to a plural noun
friends
people
during the Olympic
Games
in 2016 and he still keep
Change the verb form
keeps
to talk
with them. I Change the verb form
talking
hae
already met two of them.
There is no Correct your spelling
have
had
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
event
which has this
effect on people
.
In conclusion, Although
, to
much Replace the word
too
money
is spending
on Wrong verb form
spent
Olympic
Correct article usage
the Olympic
Games
, it is clear that
it has a good effect on people
. it helps to
Change preposition
apply
people
connect with each other and start new friendships.Submitted by e.yildizhundur on
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grammatical accuracy
Ensure that grammatical errors such as incorrect verb forms ('is spending' should be 'is spent') and typos ('many' should be 'money', 'dolars' should be 'dollars', 'plant' should be 'planted', 'to' should be 'too', etc.) are minimized. These minor errors can sometimes distract the reader from the main argument.
supporting ideas
Consider providing more detailed examples or evidence that directly support your argument. For example, explain not only how a friend met new people during the Olympics but perhaps also how these friendships were beneficial.
cohesion
Make sure each paragraph clearly addresses a specific aspect of the topic, with smooth transitions between different points of discussion. This will further enhance the logical flow of your essay.
structure
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, outlining the significance and impact of the Olympic Games on bringing people together versus the financial considerations.
balance of argument
The piece discusses both sides of the argument effectively, providing a balanced view of the topic.
use of examples
Your personal experience example about meeting new friends during the Olympic Games adds a personal touch and makes your argument more relatable.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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