A lot of places on the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweighs its drawback?
Tourism
have
become the crown Change the verb form
has
and
jewel of some areas in the world, yet there are problems relating to Correct word choice
apply
tourism
nowadays. In this
essay, I will discuss the positive and negative impacts of tourism
and at the same time will weigh its risks and benefits.
On one
hand, one of the benefits of Correct article usage
the one
Correct article usage
the toursim
toursim
industry is job placements for the Correct your spelling
tourism
people
. Thus
, residents of the locality will have employment opportunities. Furthermore
, the basic welfare of the people
will be developed such
as roads, electricity connection and water system
. The developments are brought by Fix the agreement mistake
systems
interests
of big companies to invest and earn profit. Correct article usage
the interests
For example
, the popular toursist
destination in the Philippines which is Boracay Island has continually Correct your spelling
tourist
provide
employment for local Change the verb form
provided
people
such
as tourist guides, service crews and businesses.
On another hand, one of the disadavantage
of Correct your spelling
disadvantage
disadvantages
toursim
is Correct your spelling
tourism
environmental
Add an article
an environmental
hazard
. Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
This
is due to
the flock of population in order to accommodate people
. Thus
, other entrepreneurs cut trees for construction in order to build hotels, airports, and bus terminals. For example
, in Palawan
their forests are under threat for illegal logging, which is used for building resorts. Add a comma
Palawan,
As a result
, flash flood
are rampant that residents experience during the strike of Fix the agreement mistake
floods
typhoon
. Fix the agreement mistake
typhoons
Furthermore
, conflicts will arise relation
to pollution and trash Change preposition
in relation
dispossals
. Correct your spelling
disposal
disposals
For example
, during Olympics
in Correct article usage
the Olympics
Tokyo
there were tons of garbage collected and the government Add a comma
Tokyo,
faces
Wrong verb form
faced
challenge
on how to Change the form of the verb
challenges
dispose
it.
In my opinion, the pros of Add the preposition
dispose of
tourism
are heavier compared to its cons. Although
, the drawbacks can potentially harm the people
, yet
there are regulations the governing body can implement to combat these problems.
In conclusion, there are merits brought by Correct word choice
apply
tourism
such
as increase
Correct article usage
an increase
of
labour demand and Change preposition
in
improvement
of the tourist location. Correct article usage
an improvement
However
, there are negative impacts such
as environmental hazard
and safety concerns. I still strongly believe that the shortcomings can be overcome by implementing laws.Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
Submitted by emmagallares on
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language
Ensure consistency in grammar and spelling to improve clarity. For example, 'tourism have' should be 'tourism has' and 'disadavantage' should be 'disadvantage'.
task achievement
Expand on some examples to show a deeper understanding of the topic. For instance, explaining more about how Boracay's developments specifically impact the local economy could strengthen your task response.
task achievement
Provide more detailed comparisons to the drawbacks of tourism to show a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples like Boracay Island and Palawan to illustrate points.
coherence cohesion
Structured paragraphs that discuss both advantages and disadvantages clearly.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example