A lot of places on the world rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern world. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweighs its drawback?

Tourism
have
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has
show examples
become the crown
and
Correct word choice
apply
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jewel of some areas in the world, yet there are problems relating to
tourism
nowadays. In
this
essay, I will discuss the positive and negative impacts of
tourism
and at the same time will weigh its risks and benefits. On
one
Correct article usage
the one
show examples
hand, one of the benefits of
Correct article usage
the toursim
show examples
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
industry is job placements for the
people
.
Thus
, residents of the locality will have employment opportunities.
Furthermore
, the basic welfare of the
people
will be developed
such
as roads, electricity connection and water
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
show examples
. The developments are brought by
interests
Correct article usage
the interests
show examples
of big companies to invest and earn profit.
For example
, the popular
toursist
Correct your spelling
tourist
destination in the Philippines which is Boracay Island has continually
provide
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provided
show examples
employment for local
people
such
as tourist guides, service crews and businesses. On another hand, one of the
disadavantage
Correct your spelling
disadvantage
disadvantages
of
toursim
Correct your spelling
tourism
is
environmental
Add an article
an environmental
show examples
hazard
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hazards
show examples
.
This
is
due to
the flock of population in order to accommodate
people
.
Thus
, other entrepreneurs cut trees for construction in order to build hotels, airports, and bus terminals.
For example
, in
Palawan
Add a comma
Palawan,
show examples
their forests are under threat for illegal logging, which is used for building resorts.
As a result
, flash
flood
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floods
show examples
are rampant that residents experience during the strike of
typhoon
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typhoons
show examples
.
Furthermore
, conflicts will arise
relation
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in relation
show examples
to pollution and trash
dispossals
Correct your spelling
disposal
disposals
.
For example
, during
Olympics
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the Olympics
show examples
in
Tokyo
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Tokyo,
show examples
there were tons of garbage collected and the government
faces
Wrong verb form
faced
show examples
challenge
Change the form of the verb
challenges
show examples
on how to
dispose
Add the preposition
dispose of
show examples
it. In my opinion, the pros of
tourism
are heavier compared to its cons.
Although
, the drawbacks can potentially harm the
people
,
yet
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there are regulations the governing body can implement to combat these problems. In conclusion, there are merits brought by
tourism
such
as
increase
Correct article usage
an increase
show examples
of
Change preposition
in
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labour demand and
improvement
Correct article usage
an improvement
show examples
of the tourist location.
However
, there are negative impacts
such
as environmental
hazard
Fix the agreement mistake
hazards
show examples
and safety concerns. I still strongly believe that the shortcomings can be overcome by implementing laws.
Submitted by emmagallares on

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language
Ensure consistency in grammar and spelling to improve clarity. For example, 'tourism have' should be 'tourism has' and 'disadavantage' should be 'disadvantage'.
task achievement
Expand on some examples to show a deeper understanding of the topic. For instance, explaining more about how Boracay's developments specifically impact the local economy could strengthen your task response.
task achievement
Provide more detailed comparisons to the drawbacks of tourism to show a more balanced argument.
coherence cohesion
Clear introduction and conclusion effectively framing the essay.
task achievement
Good use of specific examples like Boracay Island and Palawan to illustrate points.
coherence cohesion
Structured paragraphs that discuss both advantages and disadvantages clearly.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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