Some people are of the opinion that children should be awarded for good behavior: others think they should be punished for bad behavior discuss both views and give your opinion.
Some people opine that
children
should get award
for generous Add an article
an award
the award
behaviour
. However
, others
believe that children
should get punishment for bad behaviour
. I personally believe that while
punishing children
helps them to remember their mistakes, children
should be awarded
for good Verb problem
rewarded
behaviour
because it encourages them to behave better in the future
.
If children
get punishment for bad behaviour
, they will remember it in the future
. In that case, they will not behave the same again. For example
, in Bangladesh, children
are rebuked by their parents at home because of not greeting the guests. It helps them to remember the lesson in the future
, and next time when the guests come, they greet them politely. However
, I believe that children
should not be punished by their parents for their bad behaviour
because they do not have the tendency to learn from their mistakes.
Children
should be awarded
for their good Verb problem
rewarded
bahaviour
. Correct your spelling
behaviour
Children
in general, are very polite, nice, and love to obey others
. If they get reward
for their good Wrong verb form
rewarded
behaviour
, they will be encouraged to behave better. For example
, in Australia, children
are treated with chocolates and fruits in their schools if they behave well with others
. This
practice inspire
them to behave better with Change the verb form
inspires
others
. Therefore
, I believe that giving reward
to Fix the agreement mistake
rewards
children
is more beneficial to teach them good behaviour
.
In conclusion, I personally believe that children
should not be punished for their bad behaviour
because they cannot learn from mistakes
. They should be Correct pronoun usage
their mistakes
awarded
for good Verb problem
rewarded
behaviour
because it helps them to behave well in the future
.Submitted by rahman_rehana on
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coherence cohesion
Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views but could benefit from a stronger connection between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion. Consider using linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.
task achievement
Try to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations or examples. While you have provided examples from Australia and Bangladesh, they could be more integrated into your argument.
introduction conclusion present
Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize and restate your position on the issue.
relevant specific examples
You have successfully included relevant examples to support your points, making your argument more compelling.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite