Some people are of the opinion that children should be awarded for good behavior: others think they should be punished for bad behavior discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #children #behavior

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Some people opine that

children

Use synonyms

should get

award

Add an article

an award

the award

show examples

for generous

behaviour

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

others

Use synonyms

believe that

children

Use synonyms

should get punishment for bad

behaviour

Use synonyms

. I personally believe that

while

Linking Words

punishing

children

Use synonyms

helps them to remember their mistakes,

children

Use synonyms

should be

awarded

Verb problem

rewarded

show examples

for good

behaviour

Use synonyms

because it encourages them to behave better in the

future

Use synonyms

. If

children

Use synonyms

get punishment for bad

behaviour

Use synonyms

, they will remember it in the

future

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. In that case, they will not behave the same again.

For example

Linking Words

, in Bangladesh,

children

Use synonyms

are rebuked by their parents at home because of not greeting the guests. It helps them to remember the lesson in the

future

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, and next time when the guests come, they greet them politely.

However

Linking Words

, I believe that

children

Use synonyms

should not be punished by their parents for their bad

behaviour

Use synonyms

because they do not have the tendency to learn from their mistakes.

Children

Use synonyms

should be

awarded

Verb problem

rewarded

show examples

for their good

bahaviour

Correct your spelling

behaviour

Children

Use synonyms

in general, are very polite, nice, and love to obey

others

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. If they get

reward

Wrong verb form

rewarded

show examples

for their good

behaviour

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, they will be encouraged to behave better.

For example

Linking Words

, in Australia,

children

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are treated with chocolates and fruits in their schools if they behave well with

others

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

practice

inspire

Change the verb form

inspires

show examples

them to behave better with

others

Use synonyms

Therefore

Linking Words

, I believe that giving

reward

Fix the agreement mistake

rewards

show examples

children

Use synonyms

is more beneficial to teach them good

behaviour

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, I personally believe that

children

Use synonyms

should not be punished for their bad

behaviour

Use synonyms

because they cannot learn from

mistakes

Correct pronoun usage

their mistakes

show examples

. They should be

awarded

Verb problem

rewarded

show examples

for good

behaviour

Use synonyms

because it helps them to behave well in the

future

Use synonyms

Submitted by rahman_rehana on Sun Oct 13 2024

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coherence cohesion

Your essay provides a balanced discussion of both views but could benefit from a stronger connection between ideas to improve coherence and cohesion. Consider using linking words and phrases more effectively to guide the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Try to expand on your ideas with more detailed explanations or examples. While you have provided examples from Australia and Bangladesh, they could be more integrated into your argument.

introduction conclusion present

Your essay presents a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively summarize and restate your position on the issue.

relevant specific examples

You have successfully included relevant examples to support your points, making your argument more compelling.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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5
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

261 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

positive reinforcement
self-esteem
confidence
punishments
negative actions
consequences
fear
resentment
balanced approach
accountability
minor infractions
positive conduct
deter
understanding of right and wrong
excessively
learning environment

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Some people are of the opinion that children should be awarded for good behavior: others think they should be punished for bad behavior discuss both views and give your opinion.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Describe a place where you like to travel and give out reasons

The increase in the number of privately-owned cars is having a negative impact on both our towns and the environment. What can individuals and the government do to reduce this problem?

In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

some people say that advertising is extremely successful at presuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so commen that we no longer pay attetion to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many people in cities today live in high -rise apartment blocks. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this type of living?