The charts below show the mortality rate by age and gender in Africa in 1950, 1980, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feathures, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the mortality rate by age and gender in Africa in 1950, 1980, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feathures, and make comparisons where relevant.
IELTS Writing Task Chart for The charts below show the mortality rate by age and gender in Africa in 1950, 1980, and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main feathures, and make comparisons where relevant.
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These bar charts give information concerning mortality rates in Africa by factors;
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and gender, in 1950, 1980 and 2010. When it comes to
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, it seems there is a
possitive
Correct your spelling
positive

If you don’t want possitive to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

relationship between mortality rates and
ages
Fix the agreement mistake
age

It seems that ages may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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, percentages of death
raised
Verb problem
increased

There may be a verb use issue here.

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as
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

became higher. It means
oldest
Correct article usage
the oldest

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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group shows the greatest mortality rate among all
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

groups. The only exception was shown in
Correct article usage
the 20's
show examples
20's
Change noun form
20

It seems that this noun form may be incorrect.

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group; kept remaining about 10% and below. During the 60 years, the whole
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

group had been
experience
Change the verb form
experiencing
experienced

It appears that the verb experience should be in a participle form for the present perfect continuous tense. Consider changing the verb form.

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decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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it
Correct your spelling
in

The word it doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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portion.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, male death
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates

It seems that rate may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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were higher than
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females

It seems that female may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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in
whole
Add an article
the whole

The noun phrase whole period seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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period. In 1950, the gap was more than 20%.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the difference between men and women
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was

It seems that the verb were does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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getting smaller as time went by. In 2010, it seems only about 2% gap was shown.
Overall
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the
morality
Correct your spelling
mortality

The word morality doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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rates
were
Unnecessary verb
apply

The verb were appears to be unnecessary here.

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differed by
age
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and gender; the older
and
Correct word choice
apply

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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male
Fix the agreement mistake
males

It seems that male may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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were likely to be
death
Replace the word
dead

The word death doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, its rate
were descended
Wrong verb form
decreased

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb were descended. Consider changing it.

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as time went by.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words age with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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