Task 1 You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The graph below shows the percentage of people visiting GYM once a month or more between 1984 to 2003. Write at least 150 words

Task 1

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The graph below shows the percentage of people visiting GYM once a month or more between 1984 to 2003.

Write at least 150 words
The given graph illustrates the information percentage which people
went
Correct pronoun usage
who went
show examples
to the gym in a twenty-year
period
from 1984 to 2003.
Overall
, there are four mains
experienced
Wrong verb form
experiencing
show examples
different trends, and the group of 18-23 and 24-33
age
have been volatile,
while
the group of 34-43 and 44-53
age
have tended to increase.
According to
the given data, the percentage of
age
24-33 possessed 17 per
cent
. Following 4 years later, it increased to 24 per
cent
, and slightly dropped to 20 per
cent
by 1998, which had a strong upward trend
at the end
of the
period
and was
also
the highest percentage in the graph.
Additionally
,
age
Correct article usage
the age
show examples
18-23 had 15 per
cent
at the start of the
period
, and
thereafter
there was
also
an up and down like
23
Correct article usage
the 23
show examples
-33
age
group, which the highest reached was 25%, and declined to around 18 per
cent
by 2010. To follow other groups , both the 34-43 and 44-53
age
groups had the same development trend. At the beginning of the
period
, these groups had 7 and 5 per
cent
. In 1994,
this
number had no changes
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and
then
rose slightly by 2 per
cent
, reached 9 and 7 per
cent
, which continued to grow towards the end of the
period
reaching 10 and 7% respectively.
Submitted by elsenglish16992 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
Vocabulary: Replace the words period, age, cent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "trends" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "reached" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • percentage
  • trend
  • gym attendance
  • frequency
  • increase/decrease
  • fluctuation
  • peak
  • gender disparity
  • societal norms
  • lifestyle changes
  • fitness industry
  • patterns
  • economic factors
  • public health campaigns
  • technology advancements
  • accessibility
  • workout regimes
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