IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

The diagram below shows the life cycle of salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. as

The diagram below shows the life cycle of salmon. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. as
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The picture depicts
lifespan
Correct article usage
the lifespan
show examples
 of fish. There are seven main stages of
cycle
Add an article
the cycle
show examples
 of salmon’s life. Beginning with eggs in fresh water and ending with spawning adult salmon. There is a period of fish’s life.
According to
Linking Words
 the diagram it
is begin
Change the verb form
begins
show examples
 with seven eggs which hatched in about three months. Following alevin that feeds off yolk-sae for some weeks. After that fry which is five to ten weeks older and it can almost swim. The next stage is parr which is several months older than fry and develops “finger” markings gradually. There is
smolt
Correct article usage
a smolt
show examples
 which is one to three years older than previous ones and can head out to sea with
group
Add an article
the group
a group
show examples
.
Next
Correct article usage
The next
show examples
 one is about adult fish
that is
Linking Words
 fully developed and spends one to eight years at sea.
Afterwards
Add a comma
Afterwards,
show examples
 it
is
Verb problem
spawns
show examples
 spawning adult which spawns and dies meanwhile two weeks.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
▼
Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cycle
  • diagram
  • life cycle
  • main features
  • overview
  • stage
  • salmon
  • comparison
  • differences
  • significant
  • summarize
What to do next:
Look at other essays: