IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Some people think that to reduce traffic and pollution, the government should increase tax on petrol (gasoline). Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #traffic #pollution #government #tax #petrol #gasoline
It has been thought by
people
 that the rise in
taxes
 for fuels used in cars, imposed by the
government
, can reduce traffic and pollution. In my opinion, I think that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks, which I will be discussing in
this
 essay.
Firstly
, the imposition of
taxes
 will encourage the general public to use public
transport
 more often as
people
 would want to save money.
For instance
, a young person with poor earning power would prefer to save money on
petrol
, and
therefore
, resort to using the mode of transportation that costs less.
This
 reduces the amount of cars on the road, resulting in a decrease in congestion on the road and a reduction in the emissions of harmful gases which will help improve the quality of air.
Furthermore
, not everyone will be able to afford the increase in
taxes
 for
petrol
.
For example
, the lack of ability to afford the
taxes
 deters
people
 from using transportation modes that require fuel to function properly, forcing them into using public
transport
. To reduce the harmful effects of vehicles that require fuels, the
government
 could consider reducing the prices of public
transport
 which would
further
 motivate
people
 to use communal
transport
 methods. In conclusion, the advantages outweigh the disadvantages as imposing a tax on
petrol
 would encourage the use of communal
transport
 as a whole. If
people
 are not able to afford the increase in
taxes
, the
government
 could reduce the price of public
transport
, eliminating the prospect of
this
 disadvantage. Some
people
 think that to reduce traffic and pollution, the
government
 should increase the tax on
petrol
 (gasoline). Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Submitted by d.adeliasong on

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language
Try to integrate more varied vocabulary to enhance the richness of your text.
task achievement
Provide some counter-arguments to strengthen your essay and show balanced analysis.
structure
The essay maintains a clear structure with a solid introduction and conclusion.
content
Example provided effectively supports the argument about the effect of increased petrol taxes.
structure
Coherence and cohesion are well handled, with smooth transitions between paragraphs.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • excise tax
  • carbon footprint
  • sustainable transportation
  • public transit
  • eco-friendly alternatives
  • commuter benefits
  • fuel efficiency
  • environmental levy
  • traffic congestion
  • renewable energy sources
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