IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people think it is more important to spend public money on roads and motorways than on public transport systems such as railways and trams. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #roads #motorways #transport #systems #railways #trams
Nowadays, with the dramatic increase in population, many individuals own a car or a
vehicule
Correct your spelling
vehicle
 to travel.
Therefore
 many people think that it is necessary to invest
with
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apply
show examples
public money
on
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in
show examples
 roads and motorways
instead
 of public transport systems. I would argue that it is of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
paramount importance to
usic
Correct your spelling
use
 public money to fix the public transportation system. The reason is because
this
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
motiv`te
Correct your spelling
motivate
 people to use green transportation and will make using
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 transport tickets way cheaper.
Submitted by ouazilhakima010 on

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coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer conclusion to summarize your point of view.
task achievement
Expand on your main point with specific examples or reasons, like how public transport reduces environmental impact or costs.
coherence cohesion
Make sure your argument follows a logical structure; consider a paragraph for why roads are often prioritized, followed by the benefits of improving public transport.
task achievement
The introduction provides a clear stance on the issue, presenting your argument that public transport should be prioritized.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates an awareness of environmental issues, encouraging the use of green transportation.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • public transport systems
  • economic growth
  • traffic congestion
  • carbon emissions
  • social equity
  • urban development
  • sustainable
  • mobility needs
  • revitalization
  • efficiency
  • safety
  • reliance
  • combatting
  • mitigating
What to do next:
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